A Martyr, a King and a Hiatus: A Blog Post in Three Acts

     In the Church today, we celebrate the anniversary of the martyrdom of Blessed Miguel Pro. Father Pro was a priest in Mexico during the early 20th century. This was a time of great persecution for the Church in that country, as the government sought to kill as many Catholics as possible. In the face of this hatred and danger, Father Pro never backed down. He went from village to village, stopping in each to celebrate Mass and hear confessions before moving quickly and secretly to his next station. In November 1927, Father Pro was finally apprehended by the government and hastily sentenced to death by firing squad.

     On the 23rd of that month, Father Pro was walked out to the prison yard where he was to die. Moments before the bullets riddled his body, he refused a blindfold, and stretched his arms out to form a cross with his body. One of the guards asked for his forgiveness. Father Pro replied, "You not only have my forgiveness, you also have my thanks." Then, this servant of God shouted his final words: ¡Viva Cristo Rey! (Long live Christ the King)

     This Sunday happens to be the Feast of Christ the King. During His life on Earth, many of His followers believed that He was the long awaited messiah who would bring them to victory over the Romans and found an earthly kingdom of which He would rule as king. That never happened, as Christ was crucified by the Romans under the taunt: Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews. Yet Father Pro now knows intimately what we believe by faith: that Christ is King...of Heaven.

      How strange it seems then that just as we are meditating upon the splendor of Jesus in His final state as King of the Eternal Kingdom, we are a little more than a month away from Christmas. It is fitting and proper--a blessing really-- that we have the entire season of Advent to ponder the mystery of the Incarnation, of the Word made Flesh to dwell among us. The dichotomy of Christ, that is to say God the Creator of all, as both a King and a defenseless Baby lying in a manger (sans donkeys) shows us the scandal that sin caused and that God is willing to enter into in order to draw us back to Himself. As Saint Paul writes: For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Cor 5:21) I always have to stop and reread that sentence. It's hard enough to fathom God allowing us to possess His righteousness like a book that is lent to a friend. It's entirely incomprehensible, for my weak imagination at least, to imagine becoming Righteousness. Yet nothing short of that would render us able to enjoy eternity with the Perfect Being that is God; for any blemish would render us so ashamed in His wondrous Light that we would be miserably uncomfortable. How often we all shudder even in this world at the thought of God, though we know at best but a small whisper of His Glory.

     Usually Lent, the period before Easter, is considered the chief season of purification and amendment. But there's a special message in the Nativity--one of humility and unconditional love--that we risk missing if we ignore the time of study and reflection that Advent affords us. To this end, I'm informing all you dear readers that I and this blog are going on hiatus until at least after Christmas, most likely until after the next semester starts in mid-January. This post is the eighty-third I have written since March and I have been amazed at the breadth this silly little personal project has endeavored to reach through the Grace of God--thousands of "hits" from over 38 different countries on 5 continents (apparently the Holy Spirit doesn't work in Australia or Antarctica!). In my first post I wrote, If this blog can help but one person grow in their faith or challenge them to live a life that glorifies our heavenly Father, then it will have been a success. I hope I can say that at least that is a mission accomplished.

      Of late I have been spending perhaps what some might consider an inordinate amount of time wrestling with what it means to "live the Truth in Love." To that end, I hope to spend even more time turning that beautiful and mysterious phrase over in my mind, in my prayers, and in my spiritual readings. Christ didn't respond with anger when people mocked him or when people rejected what He offered. Christ's response, and therefore the Christian response, was and is to weep for them out of love and regard for their eternal welfare. This was echoed 13 centuries later when Saint Dominic would be heard in the early hours of the morning moaning and sobbing, intermittently stopping to exclaim Oh Lord, what will become of these unrepentant sinners?

      A Christian is obliged to, as Saint Peter states, always be prepared...to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence. (1 Peter 3:15) After much prayer, I feel I need to better understand how to articulate my account in a way that is gentle and reverent, while still always being Truthful with a capital T.

      I suspect this blog's absence will, in short order, be little noted. And rightfully so--for everything I have written about can and should be found in the Bible and/or the teachings of Christ's Church. There are many better sources of nutrition for your spiritual diet, a few of which I will mention in case you are so interested:

1. This site has short (5 lines or less) daily reflections on scripture.
2. This site has short (5-10 minute) audio reflections on scriptures. Probably my favorite and the one I find most captivating.
3. This flocknote page, in conjunction with this being the "Year of Faith" has broken up the Catechism of the Catholic Church into bite-size dailies that take 5 minutes to read and a day (or more) to muse on. If you every want to give Catholicism a fair shake or know what it is you reject, this is really a must-read. If nothing else, you will be reading the summary of a 2,000-plus year institution that has outlasted nearly every great civilization. In other words, the Church is kind of historically significant.

      So that's it! I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I will keep the blog active so as to allow anyone who wishes to view my previous posts. Also, I'll respond to any comments posted. When I return, the blog will be under a new, yet-to-be-dertermined name (as I will no longer be in Costa Rica), so keep an eye on Facebook or follow me on Twitter. God Bless!

      Yours in Christ,

      Joseph

Happy Thanksgiving!

     To begin, let me extend my wishes for a blessed Thanksgiving to you and your family and friends! Isn't it fitting that the United States proclaims a day each year to be set aside for giving thanks for all we have been given? While our consumer culture has rendered this most needed of holidays to "Black Friday Eve", certainly we can still take a few precious moments and express gratitude.

     In the Catholic Liturgy, the priest says, "Let us give thanks to the Lord, our God." The congregation responds, "It is right and just" or, in Spanish, "Es justo y necesario." Why is it so important to give thanks? As Saint Francis teaches, it is in giving that we receive. If we give thanks, what is it that we receive? Among other things, I think we receive peace. Perhaps this seems a bit strange to say, given that strife is so prevalent in the world today. Yet, as today's Gospel reading reminds us, the conflicts of today are not new. As Jesus approached the holy city of Jerusalem (whose very name signifies peace), our Lord wept. Then He proceeds to offer this prophetic message: Would that even today you knew the things that make for peace! But now they are hid from your eyes. For the days shall come upon you, when your enemies will cast up a bank about you and surround you, and hem you in on every side. (Lk 19:42-43) Sounds a lot like current affairs, especially given the recent hostilities between Israel and Hamas, doesn't it?

     In the twenty centuries since Jesus uttered these words, humanity has searched, in vain, for a worldly peace. For the great majority, "the things that make for peace" are still hidden. Yet we know experientially what they are not. Pride does not make for peace. Pride takes many forms, but in the end it can be rendered down most simply to a refusal to act in accordance to God's will for us. It is to reject the plans the Lord has, for our welfare; plans for a hopeful future. (Jer 29:11) Just yesterday, I was mocked by some of my more "progressive" classmates for speaking out against a professor who stated, in all sincerity, that the term abortion should be replaced by the deliberately misleading phrase "voluntary interruption of pregnancy." I was labeled an elitist, hateful of women, ignorant of the grave difficulties in deciding whether to carry a pregnancy to term. I was saddened by this response, but not for my sake; Jesus forewarned that the world would hate those who proclaim the Truth (see Jn 15:17-25). My sadness was more like that of Jesus looking at the people of Jerusalem. My heart breaks for all who lack that inner peace, the peace that this world SIMPLY CANNOT OFFER.

     Nevertheless, I am abundantly joyful and thankful on this morning. For the words of Max Ehrmann's "Desiderata" ring true: be at peace with God...and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. And, once more, we have the benediction of Jesus Christ to enlighten our way: Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. (Jn 14:27) I am thankful most of all that God has revealed His mercy to me, a great sinner. My hope is that my gratitude and His mercy might shine through all that I say, write and do, so that my life might glorify our God.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Costa Rica: The Final Weeks

     With only two-and-a-half weeks left in Costa Rica, I'm am simultaneously growing more nostalgic and anxious with each passing day. I am certainly looking forward to see family, friends and familiar sights. Yet that excitement comes with a tinge of sadness that I will be saying goodbye to a great group of classmates and a wonderful host family that has made me feel so welcome in their lives the past. While I would love to stay a bit longer, part of life is change and I feel it is a good time to pack up and move on to new adventures and what ought to be an awesome semester back in Washington this spring!

      Part of my motivation in studying abroad was I wanted some personal time to better understand what I am looking for in life and where I need to work to become a better person. I wanted a few months out of the busyness that Washington demands and away for the hectic nature that family life sometimes brings. Costa Rica afforded me a perfect opportunity for such a journey. I came here not knowing a soul. The scholastic workload has been entirely manageable, affording me ample time to read, travel and pray. The personal development I've undergone since arriving three months ago today is largely ineffable, but it is suffice to say I am very pleased with my decision to come here and am certain that I will look back fondly on this experience for the rest of my life.

Credit Where Credit is Due

     Sometimes when I read from the Gospels, the words of Jesus pierce through my hardened heart in a way nothing in this world can equal. I had such an experience this morning when reading today's Mass Gospel from Luke. Jesus tells His listeners to continue to pray and not lose heart and become discouraged if it appears as though God has turned a deaf ear to their pleas and petitions. What struck me was the question he puts forward in the final line: when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on earth?

      Our Lord's query is not hypothetical or philosophical; it is indeed very personal. At the end of time, whatever faith remains on earth will have to dwell in you and I and people like us. But what is faith, really? Our society seems to have concluded that faith means believing without evidence, or even despite evidence. Yet neither of these definitions have ever described the Christian meaning of faith. It's true, the Christian faith is based on belief. That's why the verbal profession of faith is called a "creed." The Latin word is "credo", from where we also get the words credit and credible. So perhaps a good way to think about it is that we are all creditors and Christ is, as it were, someone seeking credit; someone seeking our belief.

       Under what circumstances do creditors extend their credit, their belief, to another? Do they do so blindly? Do they do so in opposition to the evidence they gather, the testimony they procure? Certainly not! Likewise, Jesus does not ask us to have blind faith. Rather, He asks us to examine the evidence and consider the testimony of His references. 

     What is the evidence? It's the undeniable intelligent design present in creation. It is the astronomical odds against our existence, both as a species and as individuals beings. It is the indestructibility of the Church He founded over 2,000 years ago--by the pure grace of the Holy Spirit and in spite of the incompetence and scandals brought against it by its human stewards throughout history. It is that ineffable knowledge in our conscience that lets us know, simply, very simply, we were made for more. 

      And what is the testimony? It is the lives of the martyrs, beginning with His closest apostles choosing death over renouncing Jesus and extending to those who die even today. It can be heard in the countless stories of conversion, people who return to the Lord after prison, after drugs, after becoming slaves to the emptiness of modern culture's mindless entertainment and after becoming morally bankrupt by relativism. It is the testimony of those who what come to know that the hearts will always be restless, until they rest in Him.

      Still, if we might desire more confirmation. After all, this isn't some micro loan; God is asking us the give Him our lives. If we were being asked for such a great loan from a person, we'd no doubt want to meet them personally. We too can do this with God, through prayer. Many people are hesitant to pray because they have yet to believe. To me, that's silly. Do we not try a whole host of things--food, books, television shows, etc.-- before we are certain they will be beneficial for us? Others choose not to prayer because it has been too long. But God does not resent you or I for that; His love for us is too great. He only wants us to spend some time and converse with Him. That includes not only talking, but listening as well; to the stirrings in our souls He will create if we let Him. It doesn't need to be a set prayer like the Our Father or Hail Mary to start. As Saint John Vianney instructs, shut your eyes, shut your mouth, and open your heart. The Lord wants to give us His abundant joy, and He will give it in proportion to our ability to surrender our restlessness and doubts to Him. 

     Thus, faith is not a belief in the absence or in opposition. Faith is a trust, based on the evidence and testimony God provides, that He will provide us with full light of Truth in the fullness of time. Like a potter cannot mold clay that has already hardened, God cannot mold our hearts to love if they are already set in stone. We must be open to having our hearts melted so that God can reform us. 

Betting Big with Someone Else's Money

     Gambling with someone else's money is very nerve-wracking. One time I went to casino with some of my friends and had the misfortune of forgetting to put extra money in my wallet. All I had was three one dollar bills! I was all prepared to spend the evening as a spectator and cheerleader for the rest of our group, but one of my friends, perhaps tired of my peering over his shoulder as he played, pulled $20 out of his pocket and told me to go win some money and give him back his investment when the night was over. Easier said then done!

     I barely played at all that evening, for fear of losing what my friend had loaned me. I played more cautiously than usual and by the end of the night, I had a mere $8 to return to my friend. Of course, I returned the rest to him the next time I saw him. But the point is, I feared losing that night because the money was not mine, and I lost in large part due to my trepidation.

      My experience reminds me, albeit imperfectly, to the Lord's "Parable of the Talents". (Mt 25:14-29) To briefly summarize, a master lends talents (units of Roman currency) to three servants. To one he gives 5, to another 2, and to the last just 1. While the master is away, the servants with 5 and 2 talents each traded with others and were able to secure double their original amounts. Upon returning, the master is well pleased with these two for their shrewd investments. When he confronts the one to which he had given one, however, he is dismayed and angered to find that the servant, out of fear, had chosen to simply bury the talent and wait to return it to his master. He takes the talent back and sends the servant away in disgrace.

      Today, we all have our share of "talents" or abilities. If we believe in God, then we ought to realize that none of these are of our own merit, but rather gifts given for us to cultivate. For reasons known only to God, not all have equal talents. Yet we all have been loaned at least something with which to "gamble" in this life. During my time here in Costa Rica, I've had the pleasure of getting to know a great group of students who have tremendous abilities, tremendous gifts. Some have a passion for social justice, others for the environment and its safe-keeping for future generations to enjoy. Some our eloquent speakers, others powerful writers. Some are amazingly honest and forthright, others jovial and abundantly kind-hearted. All of us have some quality which God has never given to anyone else in the history of creation. As He spoke to the prophet Jeremiah, I know the plans I have for you...plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jer 29:11) These plans will not go unfulfilled, unless we choose not to invest our talents wisely, to gamble with them on the faith that belief in God's revealed Word entails.

      There is a temptation always to hold back and save something of what we have been given for later. There is a desire to use our abilities to benefits ourselves and not others. But this is not God's will. As the record-breaking runner Steve Prefontaine said, to give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. As we see in the parable, the person who gives less than his or her best is liable to lose what he or she does have, like a mother who does not care for the child placed under her care is liable to have that child taken away. The Lord does not keep the pearls of His goodness amongst the swine of the Earth, so to speak.

     Jesus asks us to trust Him when He tells us to "bet big" with the gift His Father has rendered to us. To our jaded sensibilities, this seems extremely foolish. What if we are wrong? What if we end up losing? Yet we are called to go beyond our mere reason and have faith in what we cannot see clearly. If we do so, we will come to find that the game is fixed for our benefit. God who loaned us the money has an inside man, His Son Jesus, who has been counting the cards and knows we are due for a blackjack. The old gambler's adage has never been truer than it is when betting on God: It ain't gamblin' if you know you're gonna win!

Easter People

     This past week, I've done a lot of thinking about the future of religion liberty in the United States. It certainly appears now that the Obama Administration is fully ready to transform the country's two century-plus tradition of freedom of religion into a sort of constricted freedom to worship. For many, the difference seems fairly benign. But for those of us who acknowledge God's dominion and at least partially comprehend what that implies and requires, the change is simply unacceptable. The President would like to limit religion in this country to the free practice of our "rituals"--Mass, Baptism, Marriage (for now), etc--but not allow us to bring our faith and consciences into our public lives. He seems to fail to realize that we cannot capitulate his desires because our religion goes beyond what we do in our churches, our synagogues, our mosques; it is who we are, not what we do occasionally.

     As Christians, we have been specifically charged with the task of evangelizing and declaring our creed. Jesus' last words to His disciples (us) were: go therefore and make disciples of all nations. (Mt 28:19) As one can plainly see, this puts Christians in direct opposition with the President. Something has to give, and as the Church has shown in its 2,000 year history, it will not be us.

     The President is symptomatic or a larger societal problem. Just yesterday, the student government at Tufts University, outside Boston, voted to withdraw recognition of the student group Tufts Christian Fellowship. Their reasoning is that the group violates the school's non-discrimination policy because it requires its leaders be Christian! The claim would be comical if it wasn't so absurdly anti-religious. What would occur if the group was an African-american student association instead: would they force the group to allow a white supremacist be on its board?

      Make no mistake: religion is under assault by our government and by a large portion of our society. For myself, at least, there is a tendency to always view these types of battles in a positive light. After all, if God is for us, who can be against us? (Rom 8:31) However, we can often forget that this does not at all guarantee that things will get better here in the United States, or for us in our Earthly lives, or for anyone anytime soon. We must remember that this world is passing away, and we very well might and very likely will see far worse days between now and its end. That is not to say that Christians are not obliged to try to convert hearts. What it does mean is we need to be chiefly focused on continual process of converting our own. We must be increasingly on guard to see that the delusions of the world--its pride, namely--do not come fester inside our souls, rotting our morality. We must remember the truth that Saint Augustine relayed: we are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song.

     What does it mean to be "Easter people"? It means to know the love that God has for us. More accurately, it is knowledge of the love God is. For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16) Dear readers, that is TRUTH. It is something the world cannot offer and simultaneously it is really all Christianity has to offer. What more is there? God so loves the world--this world that so despises Him-- that He will sacrifice Himself to make us partakers in His Divine nature for all eternity. If we believe and understand that, we cannot help but love God in return and seek to do His will.

On Poverty: In Nicaragua and Costa Rica

     This past weekend, some friends and I went to San Juan del Sur, a very touristy town in Nicaragua on the coast of the Pacific Ocean. The hostel we stayed at about 45 minutes from the Nicaragua-Costa Rica border, if you're driving very fast down a highway in the bed of a pickup truck while the resulting wind makes your eyes drier then Ben Stein's while simultaneously permanently damaging your hearing in your right ear (I would be completely deaf is I did not have the foresight to sit on the opposite side on the return trip, thus exposing my already damaged ear to more wind; you can't go deaf twice, as they say in Nicaragua!!!).

      It was immediately obvious, despite this town possessing a higher population of foreigner residents than the average Nicaraguan city, that we were in a place of greater poverty than we usually experience in our neighborhoods. The building (houses especially) were just a bit older and a bit more shoddily constructed, even by Central American standards. The presence of street hawkers selling sunglasses and iPhone covers mostly to wealthy tourists was more conspicuous, even to the point of them entering into restaurants and attempting to make sales (the restaurants did not seem to care).

     While I enjoyed my weekend, I couldn't help but be keenly aware of the tremendously different experience I was having in comparison to that hawker five feet aware. Even beyond the obvious reality that I was a tourist and he a resident--that this was my getaway while this is sum total of his existence--it struck me how different our two days cohabiting San Juan were spent. While I spent over $100 on nice meals, a "booze cruise" and various other luxuries, I suspect my fellow human selling his sunglasses has never had $100 to his name. While I retired at night to an adequate if not exactly plush bed, it is not out of the realm of possibility that he might live in a small shack on the floor or perhaps somewhere on the beach. If not he, than certainly some of his countrymen face this sad reality.

     I hadn't expected to notice the poverty so acutely this past weekend. In an ironic twist, I had asked a friend if she had a book that I could borrow to read on the bus and beach, and she lent me George Orwell's Down and Out in Paris and London. The novel chronicles the time Orwell spent as an early adult penniless in those two great European cities. He speaks of actually spending nights on the street spent sleeping on benches and days spent hungry for lack of money. He talks about how a life of poverty ruins people, rendering their bodies ravaged from malnutrition, their minds weakened from monotony and their wills crushed by the boredom of having nothing for which to strive. In comparison, my life of relative comfort feels like not just an unworthy privilege, but more like a crime against those that have so little. The tough words of Saint Basil the Great come to mind, and never seemed truer to me than now: The bread in your box belongs to the hungry; the cloak in your closet belongs to the naked; the shoes you do not wear belong to the barefoot; the money in your vault belongs to the destitute.

     Even beyond my material wealth, I also have the freedom from worrying about the day-to-day concerns of poverty. I drove through a very low-income area in Costa Rica this afternoon, where the houses are made out of wood and the streets are littered with trash because public services such as garbage receptacles and pickup are inconsistent or non-existence. It was not any worse than sights I have seen in Guatemala or even southeastern Washington, D.C. Yet, in light of my weekend in Nicaragua, I was more aware of what I was passing through. In the midst of such unwarranted suffering, my petty complaints throughout the course of a day are downright offensive. Things like waiting in line for lunch an extra few minutes or being charged an extra buck for a roundabout taxi ride do not seem like valid things over which to get worked up. The stress of an additional homework assignment or appointment would be comical if it wasn't the case that some people have stress about finding food for their children.

     I am not under the allusion that I will never treat myself to another product that I don't absolutely need to survive or that I will cease to ever complain about minor inconveniences again. However, I do feel it is worth trying and being mindful of the great blessings with which I have been given. If we wish to see any change in the world, it must begin with ourselves.

Reasons for Hope

     While many today are basking in the glow of President Obama's reelection, those who value the importance of life and religious liberty may feel a bit demoralized. I know I do. I didn't really expect to, quite frankly. I had suspected an Obama victory and had come to terms with it. What I did not anticipate or realize was the degree to which our country's Godless, "progressive" left-turn would be made manifest to me. I saw it in state referendums that legalized same-sex marriage. I saw it in states that legalized the recreational (not just medicinal) use and cultivation of marijuana. I saw it in a number of Facebook posts from people of the self-proclaimed "Christian left", who had the audacity to thank God for this pro-abortion President's reelection for another four years. Another four years that, by the President's own admission to none other than (cue irony!) Tsar Putin, will give him "more flexibility" to pursue his goal of moving America "forward".

      It is this talk from Christians than saddens, perplexes and even angers me the most. How does one maintain the cognitive dissonance necessary to say they follow the teachings of Christ and simultaneously support a President who wants to make it easier for women to get abortions, and will appoint Federal judges who will follow suit in their legal rulings? These Christians are simply following the model put forth by such warped Catholics as Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi, who treat their proclaimed faith just as Obama would like faith to become: a hobby on par with knitting or playing bridge every Tuesday afternoon.

     The Church has failed to get Catholics to grasp that their Catholicism cannot just be something they do; it must be who they are. That should also apply to any authentically Christian denomination. Perhaps the best summarization on this subject that I have read comes from Aidan Nichols, O.P. He writes, "In the powerful yet soft secularising totalitarianism of distinctively modern culture, our greatest enemy is the Church's own internal secularisation which, when it occurs, does so through the largely unconscious adoption of the ideas and practices of seemingly benign adversaries." I am much more sympathetic towards atheists who are pro-choice, for same-sex marriage and the like. They support such methods, I believe, out of what they think are good motives--women's rights, equality, etc. Without the Lord as their guide, how are they expected to understand why each life is so important (it is created in God's own image) or why marriage can only be between a man and a women (it is a sacrament created by the Creator)?

     What is disturbing is the degree to which the modern Christian is willing to choose which teachings they find valuable and which they find too hard or unpopular to support. They are willing to actively support the oppression and destruction of their own faith, and then thank the Lord for doing it! To be such a Christian is not to follow Christ. In fact, I would venture to say that the perverted theology they subscribe to is more idol worship than God worship.

     With that said, I remain hopeful for two reasons. The first is that now it has been made painstakingly clear to any devout Christian what they are up against going forward. For decades this nation has not taken God seriously. Perhaps now we can come to terms with being the minority, the persecuted and the scorned. We ought to move towards reinforcing the faith of lapsed Christians. This culture war will only be fought one soul at a time, not through any one politician. We need to spend more time standing up for our religious liberty. The President has already laid the groundwork to erode that right. He has given us a choice: minister to the sick in Catholic hospitals and educate the people of God in Catholic universities OR respect your conscience in refusing to pay for abortifacient drugs...you can no longer do both. If we lose this right, we will not get it back. The road only gets more perilous if we do not put a stop to it now.

      The second reason for my hope is that we Christians know the ending of the story. This period of turmoil for people of faith is only a page in the great book of existence God has written. For as dark as times may seem--and they may very well get darker in the near future--the truth of Christ's victory over these forces of evil and suffering and death is absolute and final. If we "finish the race" as Saint Paul instructs, we will win the prize of eternal life with God. The Church has been through persecutions of greater magnitude in Roman times. Yet while Rome is a pile of ruins, the Church continues to protect the revealed mystery of God's love for humanity. And long after the United States is laid to waste, the Church will still be standing, because it is not beholden to the foolishness of men and women but rather the wisdom of God.

      This is no time for indecision or indifference--two other characteristics en vogue in the United States today. Like in any war, this one for our soul will require us to choose a side. We know the ultimate winner. The question is, will we be on His side?

On Love

     In today's Gospel reading, Jesus gives the "The Law of Love". In fact, the first half of the rule was not new; Jesus simply quoted the words of Moses from the Book of Deuteronomy: Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your might. (Deu 6:4-5) 

     How can we love God with all our heart, with all our soul and with all our strength if by God's very nature we cannot fully understand the identity of our Creator? In our human relations, we keep love as one of our most closely guarded emotions. We are hesitant to love anyone unless we know them really well already. With God, we must be prepared to do just the opposite: if we are to have any chance of knowing God, we must first love God.

      I actually think this type of love is easier to understand in the Spanish language than it is in English. In Spanish, the verb used to express love for someone (not something) is querer. In most circumstances this verb means to want or desire something. So, in a sense, the primary way to express love for someone in Spanish is to do nothing less than to say te quiero ("I want/desire you"). So it is with God! We must first have a desire for God. Only then can we love God. We must search for God before we can love God because God is pure love itself. All earthly love is merely partial in comparison that pours forth from the very One which created us, who willed our very existence into Being. No human love can compare to the love of the Father, who bears with our shortcomings and our distancing from Him, never ceasing to offer us mercy and forgiveness the moment we turn back.

     That is not to say we ought to turn our backs on human love. Jesus expanded and completed the Judaic law with the instruction to love our neighbor as ourself. The love people encounter in this life is a gift from God and should be treated with respect and full devotion. In so doing, we come to glorify God by our love for another, always and everywhere desiring that more perfect love that is only to be found in the next world with God.

Twenty One and Counting

     Yesterday I turned twenty-one years old. One of the vivid memories I have from my childhood is sitting in front of the TV in my living room on my seventh birthday, watching some show on Nickelodeon. A new show started and, in the top right-hand corner of the screen was the rating "Y-7". I remember feeling so proud and so old that I could now "legally" watch such "mature" cartoons! In light of this, it is a bit of a shock to think that moment was 14 years (and a day) ago. Now, I've eclipsed every legal age restriction...next stop my AARP membership!!!

     I also could not help but think of my own mortality yesterday. My birthday always coincides with All Souls' Day in the Catholic Church. My faith is always quick to point out that we must constantly be vigilant and prepared to make an account of our lives to the Lord, who can summon us at any time.

     My own life has confirmed this truth. In my childhood, I had the misfortunate of my uncle and father both passing away suddenly. Both were shy of 50 years old. Sometimes I try to imagine what they were doing some day when they were in their 20s and, unbeknownst to them, their life had just reached its midpoint. I suspect they probably felt, as I often do, invincible and unconcerned with the brevity of life. They probably felt assured, if not entitled, to another 50 or 60 years; time to travel, time to play with their children, their future grandchildren, to enjoy retirement and the like. If they would have known that they would be granted less than half of that time, what would they have done differently? What would they have deemed more important to get done, not as important to waste their precious time? What arrangements would they have made for preparing their souls to meet their Maker?

     Lest you think I spent my entire birthday reflecting on such a morbid subject, I had a wonderful day spent with some tremendous friends whom I have only had the pleasuring of knowing for two months. I turned 21 in a beautiful foreign country, one in which I never thought I'd have the ability to visit, let alone spend 4 months in to study what interests me. I awoke early in the morning to register for spring classes at my home university in Washington, DC. I signed up for a class about the role of food in society, being taught by an Iron Chef and with celebrity guest lecturers. God has blessed me with the ability to do great things, to meet great people, to spread His great message of salvation. And I guess that's the point of this reflection: to simply say that I feel I've been given a lifetime's worth of blessings in a little more than two decades.

     I have no idea why God chose to give me these opportunities. When I reflect on how many people are more worthy of my educational opportunities, who could take more advantage of my travel experiences, I feel almost embarrassed that I frequently takes these gifts for granted. One of my favorite passages to meditate on comes from the Book of Psalms: What shall I render to the Lord for all His bounty to me? (Ps 116:12) I've been reflecting on that question for at least a year, and the bet answer I've come up with is simply: whatever He asks. On that note, I'll leave you for today with this prayer from Saint Ignatius of Loyola:

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. You have given all to me; to you, O Lord, now I return it; all is yours dispose of me wholly according to your Will. Give me only your love and your grace, for this is enough for me.

Unshakeable Hope

     In the Catholic Church, today is a Holy Day of Obligation, which means that the faithful must attend Mass. The purpose of today in the Church is to commemorate all the Saints who have served God so heroically throughout history. Their lives, many of which ended in the sacrifice of their blood for their faith, serve as inspiration for all us sinners who live with the desire to do good but a weakness of will that often leads us to sin and despair.

     Before and after the Mass, I spent some quiet time reflecting in front of the Blessed Sacrament, which is Jesus truly present in the Eucharist. I was particularly struck by my own insignificance in the midst of the God and Creator of all. Archbishop Fulton Sheen, himself on the road to being declared a Saint, said that, measuring ourselves by the infinite, we ought to be absolutely convinced of our nothingness.

     Often, I feel there's a impassable chasm between what I ought to do and what I do each day. The words of Saint Paul in his letter to the Romans rings true: I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil which I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. (Rom 7:15,17-21) This is not some average guy saying this, but a Saint! If a Saint struggles with this same battle against sin as we do, then it can be very easy to lose hope for ourselves.

      But it's important to recall that Saint Paul was not always...well...Saint Paul. He started his life as Saul, a persecutor of the early Church. He took part in killing some of the early martyrs such as Saint Stephen. How then did he convert his life? Only through the grace of God! For I believe he stood at the edge of that same chasm that we all face. Neither Saint Paul nor you nor I can cross into a life of holiness by ourselves. The only bridge sturdy enough to support the hefty weight of our sinful baggage is the Cross of Jesus. Through Christ, all things our possible. As Saint Paul puts it: There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death. For good has done what the law, weakened by flesh, could not do: sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh. (Rom 8:1-3)

     In God's Kingdom of Saints, there is room both for a martyr and the man who stoned him. That is not a message of despair, but one of unshakeable hope, if only we are willing to acknowledge our weakness and dependence on God's mercy. As another future Saint, Blessed Pope John Paul II, said, "We are not the sum of weakness and failures. We are the sum of our Father's love for us." Perhaps the secret of the Saints is this: they understand that alone there are nothing, but with God there is nothing they cannot conquer, even sin and death!

Get Out and Vote

     It's a bit weird being in Costa Rica during the first Presidential election for which I am able to vote. Absentee ballots have already been sent in and, even though the election is one week from today, I have a sense of it already have come and gone. For the majority of Americans, however, this is far from true. Now is the time to become informed citizens (if one is not already), understand the positions of candidates and begin to decide who is going to earn your trust and, by extension, your vote. It's a civic duty, and we should all be proud to carry it out!

For many, choosing whom to vote for is a matter of feel. We decide if we feel comfortable with one candidate over another, perhaps taking into account his or her positions on certain issues that personally effect us. If we are Catholic (or any Christian who seriously strives to imitate Christ), our criteria must rise above this very cursory and self-centered assessment. We are called to use a well-formed conscience and test the candidate's positions on that conscience. As my hometown Bishop, Most Rev. Richard Malone wrote recently:

We recognize that there can be proposals for addressing some pressing social concerns, such as the economy, immigration reform, or retirement security, on which people of good will can reach different conclusions. This is the exercise of prudential judgment, which demands that we never justify an immoral means to achieve a good end. 

Prudential judgment does not come into play with every issue that confronts us. Not every course of action is morally acceptable. There are situations in which what is being proposed is an intrinsic evil. Intrinsic evils are actions that must always be opposed because they are always, by their nature, gravely opposed to the will of God. Examples of intrinsic evils are abortion, euthanasia and physician assisted suicide, embryonic stem cell research and human cloning, genocide, torture and racism. Intrinsic evils undercut the dignity of the human person. If we think about it for a moment, we can see how all of the life issues are connected. Erosion of respect for the life of any person or group in society necessarily diminishes respect for all life. 

Without a doubt, the conscientious Catholic faces many complex and difficult decisions in preparing to vote. That is why an informed conscience, and confidence in the moral wisdom of our Church, is so important. A Catholic may never vote for a candidate who supports an intrinsic evil if, in voting for her or him, one is doing so in support of that immoral position. Conversely, a Catholic cannot justify voting for a candidate who opposes an intrinsic evil if that candidate is known to be indifferent to other serious moral issues involving human life. 

There may be times when we find it necessary to vote for a candidate who holds an unacceptable position on a grave moral issue for other grave moral reasons.  

     It is clear to see why many Catholics become confused, even when they know the intrinsic evils they must not implicitly condone by way of their vote. In the final analysis, a well-formed conscience will help any voter to make the best moral use of their vote for all humans, keeping in mind the priority that must be given to avoiding candidates who support intrinsically evil acts. This takes a great deal of courage and love for God, sacrificing what may be economically or socially convenient for us. Yet, if we need any inspiration, we need look no further than Jesus upon the Cross. If He laid down His life for all humans, surely I can sacrifice my comfort, if that's what it means to protect the dignity of life.

      May you all exercise your right to vote come November 6th and, as with everything, may you glorify God in so doing!

Why're We Eating Pineapples and Other Mysteries

     This morning, I walked by my host mom cutting up a pineapple for breakfast and I began to think again about a topic this has been on my mind a few times at different points during my two months in Costa Rica: how did humans find out that some particularly unappealing fruits and vegetables were palatable and, in fact, quite appealing? How surprised must that person have been who first laid eyes upon a spiky pineapple and decided to cut it open, revealing sweet yellow fruit? What was the person thinking who first plucked a dirt-covered carrot out of the ground and into their mouth? How long did it take for people to realize that bananas taste exponentially better if you wait for them to turn a little brown? Potatoes, kiwis, cantaloupes and coconuts: the list of weird fruits and vegetables is very long. Yet, for all their strangeness, these foods provide just what the body needs.

     If you will allow, I would like to propose that Christianity is very much like the discovery of the aforementioned"weird" edible plants . To understand how humanity arrived at either, we must begin with hunger. Just as people have a physical hunger that can only be satisfied with external food, we also have a psychological hunger to know the being or force that created us. Yet neither the "weird" foods nor Christianity were necessarily found on the "first try"for many civilizations. Many fruits and vegetables were undoubtedly tested by humans. Yet some of these did not satisfy the need for nourishment. Likewise, the world's great religions are monuments of man's search for God. They contains some truths, but ultimately we cannot sustain ourselves on them because they do not reveal the living God that is inexhaustibly expressed in the Christian Mystery.

     What do I mean when I say "the Christian Mystery"? At its core, I think the Mystery is that the Divine Creator, God, intends nothing less than to share eternal life with us. This earthly life we are all engaged in right now certainly contains mysteries and is itself worthy of tremendous wonder and contemplation. Yet this life is at least tangible to us. We may not understand it all, but we could at least conceive of its existence without God. In contrast, the Christian Mystery-- that the destiny of humanity is not simply a life that is given, whether by God or random chance, but rather a life that is shared in full and everlasting communion with the Trinitarian God-- is a concept that is otherworldly and thus could come through no source other than God. This movement of God, the search for us after our rejection of Him through pride, was so strong that that He willed to make Himself man, in the form of His Son, Jesus Christ. God's quest to bring us back into His grace, to reconcile us, and a account of pure love; a love which had no beginning and will have no end.

     At this point, my head hurts and, if you have made it this far, I suspect yours might hurt as well. Yet whereas with many mysteries we can throw up our hands and say we've exhausted all there is to know about the topic, with the Christian Mystery the utter opposite is the case. It is a mystery, not because we can only say so much, but because we can never say enough! It not a mystery shrouded in darkness, but rather one obscured by too much Divine light! Isn't it fitting that the very story of God, who is pure light and goodness, is too bright to fully see from our terrestrial vantage point. Many modern atheists like to point to what the Christian cannot fully explain about God--why He permits suffering, why He allows Satan to exist, etc.-- as evidence of God's non-existence.  But the Creator, by definition, cannot be fully understood by created beings. Our lives are but a meager paragraph in the Book of Life. Our inability to explain the ways of God is more a weakness in the general human capacity to comprehend, rather than it is a peculiar fault in believers or in Divine Revelation itself.

     In the final analysis, the atheist (not the questioner or doubter, but the person who has definitively determined for themselves that there is no God) is a tremendously pathetic figure. He or she would never think of eating a spiky pineapple or a dirty carrot, just like he or she would never think of believing in a God they cannot fully see and understand. What the atheist fails to grasp is that God is necessarily ungraspable by us, by merit of His place as Creator of us! To grasp is to control. The great irony is that the only god the atheist could possibly believe in is precisely the one that would be imaginary, a figment of the atheist's mind borne out of a deep need to control. In lieu of this, the atheist is left with a world that, devoid of God's warmth and life-giving love, is cold and sterile. Or worse, the atheist, incapable of coming to terms with the result of their "beliefs", tries to construct their own religion, preaching the gospel of cultural relativism that permits what Blessed John Paul II wisely called the "Culture of Death".

     In the midst of all this sham and drudgery, one of the greatest expressions of the Christian Mystery we can have is hope. With our culture turning itself over to a bizarre and hitherto unseen militantly secular disposition, one which is not only dismissive but antagonistic towards God, it is essential to remember that the Truth of Christ is the same as it's always been, and the Grace of God remains with those who seek his love. Not to take any credit away from the President's efforts to make Catholics go against their consciences, but the Church has been through far worse persecutions under Roman Emperors. Yet the Church is still standing while Rome fell long ago, and will continue to stand long after the United States is mere history. You see, in the great Christian Mystery, Jesus has already won the victory for us. We need only stand on the right side.

Moments of Grace

     The other day, I had a friend come up to me, asking if we could talk for a moment. In the brief conversation we had, I could tell the person had been deeply touched by a moment of grace by God. A fallen away Christian, something in my friend's soul had suddenly been stirred, to the point that they wanted to sit down and talk about faith over lunch sometime in the near future. Thanks be to God!

     This episode was an affirmation of a truth I have come to believe: to become a Christian, one must have an encounter with the living Christ. I realize this may seem obvious on the surface, but I think many people have an upside-down view of what it means to be a follower of Christ. For unbelievers, the central theme of Christianity may appear to be a set of restrictive moral codes. From this perspective, it is easy to see why many are hesitant to first give up a portion of their conventional freedoms in the name of Jesus. But I believe this is a backwards view of what transpires in the heart of a Christian. The Christian does not follow Christ because he or she has been faithful to the teachings, he or she is faithful to the teachings because there has been an encounter with Christ! In other words, the strength to believe in the supernatural must be begotten by nothing less than an encounter with the supernatural. One does not come to know the Divine by the same manner in which one comes to know the multiplication table. There needs to be a revelation of inward grace in the heart of the person, from which adherence to the teaching's of the source of that grace, God, flows naturally and without hesitation.

     I recall a story I heard once about a very forgetful minister who had been assigned to a small, close-nit, rural congregation. Shortly after arriving, the most respected member of the parish died. The minister made the arrangements for the funeral service, which was expected to draw the entire community, and put the date in his agenda. Unfortunately, he put the wrong date in his agenda, and then subsequently took the actual date of the funeral off to go on an all-day hike. Upon returning from his wonderful day of relaxation, he went into his office to find a note from his secretary on his desk. She said that they had to call in another minister from the next town over, and the funeral service began two hours late as a result. She closed the note by "suggesting" that he ought to pay a visit that evening to the widow's house and apologize. Quickly, the minister changed out of his hiking gear and into his clerical dress. He drove over to the widow's home, where the friends and family of the deceased had gathered for dinner. He walked up steps of the front porch, his body shaking with embarrassment. He knocked pathetically on the large wooden door and swallowed hard, praying that he might maintain his composure. The door opened, and the widow stepped out onto the porch to face her absent pastor. Before the man could say a word, he found himself embraced by the woman. After a few moments, the woman pulled back, and, with a look of supreme pity, said, "You poor soul! You must feel terrible! Come on in and have some supper."

     After that evening, the minister found a renewed passion and zeal for his ministry.  Reflecting back on the experience, he would comment, "I stood naked on that porch, and that woman clothed me in love." The minister's preaching and shepherding of his congregation was revived because he had truly encountered the love of Christ of which he preached. God's grace and mercy acted through that woman.

     Once a soul encounters Christ, the Christ that lives and works through others, what choice does it have but to follow? Throughout the Bible, there are many examples of ordinary people, both rich and poor, who have a life-changing encounter with Jesus. He is no less present today than He was when He walked the Earth, as His promise to be with us always, unto the end states very clearly. He is present most gloriously in the Catholic Eucharist, but also in those moments of grace that come when we least expect them yet are most in need of them. To receive grace however, we must be open to grace. We need to humble ourselves with the realization that we are self-sufficent. Echoing the words of the Psalmist, if today you hear His voice, harden not your hearts!

I need your help please!

Dear all,

     Thank you for reading my blog! Since March, it has been one of the greatest graces in my life to be able to share my faith and love of the Lord with you. In this post, I am asking you for a small favor to help out a friend of mine. She is trying to win a trip to Orlando in January to attend a conference with 7,000 other Catholic University Students. It's a great opportunity and, to earn the prize, she has written a SPECTACULAR blog post. I had tears in my eyes by the end of it, as I have been in the situation she speaks of many times and have been one of people who simple looks or even walks away. I posted her post below in its entirety. All I ask is that you click this link and vote for her post, which is #7.

Thanks so much for your help!

God Bless,

Joe
____________________________________________________________________

“Anybody got forty cents?”
It was crowded in the downtown D.C. metro station. Men in suits and women in boots bumped and rushed and squeezed onto the platform. Seven minutes until the next blue train. I joined in the sprawl, with my intern badge and business wear, I fit right in.
“Anybody got forty cents? Forty cents?”
My iPhone buzzed, reminding me that it is 3 o’clock. You expired, Jesus, but the source of life gushed forth for souls… I had loved Divine Mercy since my freshman year of high school, when my grandmother gave me a St. Maria Faustina message and devotion prayer book. It was small, with faded pages that I flipped through fervently every night. I was amazed by the words of this little nun, humble and meek, who said Jesus loves and forgives even the greatest sinner. How great is His gift for us.
Six minutes until the blue train. More people streamed in down the escalators. A man with a cane hobbled near the entrance, talking to everyone and no one. A makeshift cast made of duct tape and wood caged his left leg, and his clothes were not enough for almost winter. I continued murmuring my Chaplet. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion…“Anybody got forty cents? Forty cents? It’s cold outside,” said the man to everyone and no one. The voice was getting louder; he was getting closer. I opened my wallet and pulled out my only dollar.
Have mercy on us and on the whole world. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion…Jesus promised at this hour, the hour He died, He would deny nothing to a sinner. I began to weep inside for this man being denied forty cents, over and over again. I made my way through the crowd of souls to the one being ignored, and handed him my dollar.
“Thank you,” he said with a toothless grin, then continued his call. “Anybody got forty cents? Forty cents? It’s cold outside.”
Five minutes until the blue train. Where was I? Oh yes. Eternal Father, I offer you the Body and Blood…The man began making his way through the crowd, which parted gracefully like the Red Sea. The image of Jesus riding a donkey into Jerusalem, clothes and tree branches on the ground flashed across my mind. Isn’t this how we enter heaven – small and broken, nothing on our backs?
“Anybody got forty cents? Forty cents? It’s cold outside. Anybody got forty cents? Forty cents? It’s cold outside, too cold.” The voice was getting louder in my head, and I wished someone would give him something, anything. I remembered I had half a turkey sandwich in my bag, uneaten from lunch. I weaved my way through the gaps in the crowd he had made. I tapped his shoulder, and he turned around and smiled. “Thanks again, young lady.” People turned and stared. Three minutes until the blue train.
“Are you hungry?” I asked, desperate to give him my sandwich, and anything else he asked for, anything that he needed. I had never felt such love for a homeless man. “Are you hungry? Because I have a sandwich if you want it.”
“Aw no thank you. I can’t eat that. Got no teeth, see,” he pulled his lips down to show his gums. And my heart broke, that the least of us should have nothing, not even teeth.
Know that whatever good you do to any soul, I accept it as if you had done to Me, said Jesus to St. Faustina. The words rang through my soul.
“Anybody got forty cents? Forty cents? It’s cold outside. God is good.” The pleading continued.
Jesus, You are in the lost and the hopeless. You are the widow. You are the orphan. You are the homeless sleeping in the streets. Here I am, with a roof over my head and more than enough blankets in the winter. I don’t know what I have to offer, but I offer it to You.
One minute until the blue train. A man still asking, no one giving.
“Anybody got forty cents? Forty cents? It’s cold outside. God is good.”
Jesus, who carried His cross for me, Jesus who was crucified for me, teach me to live as You died, full of selflessness and love. I can’t possibly return what You gave up for me, so I’ll give it to this man, and to the lost, the hopeless, the widow, the orphan.
The train doors opened. Suits came in and suits came out. One lonely soul stayed on the platform, standing crookedly upon his cane.
Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us all.The doors closed, but still I heard his words through the cracks, and even after, even now.
“Anybody got forty cents? Forty cents? It’s cold outside. God is good. I believe it.”
I believe it.

Not for All the Gold Under the Earth: On Virtue

     What does it mean to be virtuous? That is a question I have found myself meditating on the past few days. The great philosophers of antiquity spoke highly of virtue and the need to live virtuously. Plato said, "All the gold which is under or upon the earth is not enough to give in exchange for virtue. Clearly, this is no small matter! 

     

      In regards to virtue, I feel most of us more or less think we "know it when we see it." But to suppose that is to suppose that virtue is simply a matter of the end results, and not intertwined with the means or methods by which we end up performing virtuous acts. Consider this: two people sit alone in a diner at some out of the rest stop. Both have finished their small meal and their waitress disappeared into the kitchen some time ago and has yet to return to give them their checks. Both are eager to get back on the road and have grown a bit impatient. The first person entertains the thought and seriously considers on skipping out on the bill, but ultimately decides to wait it out and pay. The second person is tempted with the same thought of dining and dashing, but immediately resolves to pay. Of the two people in our story, which is the more virtuous soul?

     For me at least, I can relate much more with the first figure. I usually arrive at the "right" decision, but boy do I sometimes struggle in order to get there and do so for reasons that have to do more with social acceptability and the fear of getting caught than it does with doing the right thing for its own sake. That struggle, while noble, is an indication of a yet underdeveloped virtue. To be truly virtuous is to do precisely what our second figure does: he takes the right course of action precisely and solely because it is the right course of action. Virtue allows a person to make right choices virtually automatically, insofar as their is a clear right choice. The deciphering of what is "right" is rendered through the development of wisdom, which strengthens the virtuous person and sheds light on what ought to be done.

     I think it is important to note that to be virtuous does not mean to go through life without temptation. Both our figures were tempted with the same idea. Temptations are natural and not in and of themselves  a sign of moral deficiency. The mark of a virtue is to what degree that temptation is automatically dismissed. I find it to be true that the longer we allow a temptation to linger, the more likely we are to succumb to it. To be able to reject temptation at its first appearance is extra-ordinary: a sign of a well developed, virtuous individual.

     The elevation of the virtuous figure over the other does not sit perfectly well with me. I want to give some more credit to the person who battled with his temptation and ultimately won over it. I desire to give points for effort. But to do so ignores the effort that the virtuous person already exerted to reach his or her elevated moral state. Virtue is a gift, but it is a gift that needs to be maintained and cared for by the recipient.

     Often the virtuous figure gets ridiculed as something of a "do-gooder". One of the most salient memories from my childhood is a virtuous act by my mother. We were at Applebees (should have called them to see if I could have gotten some money for advertising) and the bill arrived shortly after the completion of our meal. My mom noticed that they had left our drink orders off , and immediately called the waitress over to correct the mistake. For the next 10 or so minutes, my family argued with my mother over whether we are responsible for correct the waitresses mistake. While at the time I though it was silly and we should have just taken the "freebie", I know have great respect for my mom's virtue. A good way to check whether an act is virtuous is to consider what we would do in the opposite scenario. If the waitress had overcharged us, I am sure our family would have been quick to point out the discrepancy. We are quick to correct a teacher's grading error in our favor, far less so when we received more points than we earned. Virtue allows us to cut through the fog of our society's moral relativism, a phenomenon that threatens to bankrupt our consciences and render us all utilitarians who deny that there are any such things as objectively good or right acts. That is why virtue is worth more than all worldly riches for Plato. It is through virtue that we can rise above our the faults of our human intellect and begin to desire only the good, only because it is the good. Virtue transcends the darkness of this world and helps us begin to squint into the infinite light that is God.

Simple Language

     It's been confirmed via my host mom: I am a polite, attentive person en español. While I would like to say that has been a conscious endeavor on my part, it has more to do with my language skills than anything else. While I am often sarcastic in my native tongue, I don't have adequate command of the Spanish language to be anything but exceedingly grateful and more or less pathetic in my speech. While my host mom knows me as a diligent listener, my actual mother can attest that I am often anything but when she talks, in English, to me. I listen in Spanish because I cannot afford not to, if I hope to comprehend anything of what is being said. In short, my vulnerability communicating in a foreign language actually makes me kinder. Insofar as Spanish goes, I am a mere child.

     In meditating upon this, I couldn't help but recall the words of Jesus. Numerous times, he used children as the example of how one ought to be in order to reach Heaven. What merit do children have? Certainly, they are not as educated as the scribes, and their command of language is not as grandiose. But they what they lack in vocabulary they make up for in their plainness of speech. Young children are naive of the methods we older, "wiser" folks use to put others down: our insults, our sarcasm, our slander. As such, their speech, while lacking refinement, is no doubt more redeeming than the most educated human being who speaks ill of others.

     It is a tremendous blessing I have been given, to be able to amass a great wealth of vocabulary and knowledge of grammar in the English language. Should not I use that language to glorify God and build others up? I am ashamed when consider all the times each day when I use language to belittle others or to discuss crude subjects that work towards the benefit of nothing and nobody. Better would it be if I spoke not at all, and maintained for myself the innocence of a baby. Fortunately, the choice is not either-or; either I speak in sin or I remain piously silent. I can speak well of others and well of things, while holding my tongue sometimes when I would rather speak negatively. In speaking only good, God is glorified because He is the creator of all that is good. Additionally, the good that I speak is magnified by the absence of the bad of which I do not speak.

     As the Book of Ecclesiastes reminds us, there is a time to keep silence and a time to speak. (Eccl 3:7) It is easy to speak often be called a hypocrite. That criticism is richly deserved, for often my idle speech in the presence of friends does great injury to my speech elsewhere or my writing on this blog. That fault, while a product exclusively of me and my own human weakness, is translated to God and the Church which I proclaim to love and follow. If that be the case, then it would be better that I speak not at all of my faith here. But because I continually receive an abundance of messages from readers who find my thoughts of some worth, I shall continue while striving to reform those parts of my character that are flawed. Please pray for me, as habits are not easy to break. It is comfortable for me to be sarcastic, to make fun of the little faults in others. But as the Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI said, while the world offers comfort, it is not for comfort that we were made. We were made for greatness! And if I am to encourage others to seek greatness, than I better not neglect seeking greatness myself.

So Many Books, So Little Time!

     The other day, I friend showed me a website called Goodreads where people enter in books they've read, rank them and receive recommendations for future books they might enjoy. In addition, you can compare the books you have read or want to read with those of your friends. I've just begun, so I am sure there's many more things the site allows bibliophiles to do too!

     Poking around the site and the recommendations it generated brought up a feeling of anxiety I often get when I deal with books or movies or any other subject of which there seems to be an endless supply. I like to think I am a pretty voracious reader, perhaps fitting in a good 15-20 books per year. But even if I assume I could maintain that high pace for another 60 or so years, I always come to the conclusion that I could never read every book I would like to read that already exists, let alone any the of millions of books that will be published in the next six decades. The feeling is enough to leave me temporarily despondent and a victim of reading-paralysis--how do I know where to begin to accomplish this seemingly insurmountable task!? But begin we must, if we are to get anything out of the great gift to humanity that is our capacity to create great works of literature.

      I think the same anxiety holds a lot of would-be Christians back from beginning their faith journey. The mysteries of God, unlike books, are actually infinite and cannot be fully discerned in our earthly lives. For many, that is reason enough to neglect God and focus on more tangible, completable tasks-- after all, life is often hard enough as it is, without worrying about whether we are doing enough to prepare ourselves for another one which is to come afterwards.

      But not to begin the journey of faith because the journey is so long is to sacrifice the tremendous gift that is to know even the tiniest morsel of God's mercy, grace and absolute goodness. It is as irrational as saying we are not going to read any books because we cannot read all books. Nor is it advisable to begin a faith journey predisposed to the idea that God does not exist because His ways are unknown to us. That is tantamount to saying that we because we do not understand what a book is about from the cover, and so we are going to read it with the idea that it's message is going to be impenetrable to us. More often than not, these sorts of things become self-fulfilling prophecies. God does not ask complete trust from the onset, although that would be ideal. The Lord simply wants those who come to Him to arrive with an open mind and heart: space in which he can enter in and refresh and revive your very soul.

     In this way, the journey towards faith in God is never one we take alone. Just like we might read a particularly challenging book with the help of a guide, God provides us assistance in what is the greatest challenge in every human life: coming to believe that we were created for a purpose, and that purpose is to become one with our Creator. In a word, God becomes our companion. The word "companion" is derived from Latin words meaning "come together" and "bread." Thus, a companion is one who breaks bread with us. Is this not a perfect description of the Christian God? Not only does God walk our journey with us, helping us to grow in faith, hope and love, He also becomes the Bread of Life in the Catholic Church's Eucharist. The Eucharist provides food for the journey, fulfilling what Jesus said: lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age. (Mt 28:20)

     I like to read because I feel it makes me a better person: more knowledgable, more empathetic, more grateful. So it is also with my faith journey. Both literature and God are inexhaustible wells of insights and lessons, emotions and development. Yet with God we have the assurance that, if we genuinely strive to do grow in the teachings of the Lord and His Church, all shall be fully revealed in the next life: we will have a personal Q&A with the Author of Life that lasts for all eternity.

Update from Costa Rica: The Halfway Edition

     In Costa Rica, today is a national holiday, Dia de las Culturas. It also is a momentous day of sorts: eight Mondays ago I left the United States and eight Mondays from now will be my first full day back in the U.S. in four months. It is a bit of a shock when I think I've reached the midpoint of my time in this country. It's terribly easy to take the natural beauty here--the volcanos, the palm trees, the exotic birds--for granted on a day-to-day basis. And yet, how many more times will my classmates and I get to experience that to which we have quickly grown acclimated if perhaps not fully accustomed during our brief sojourn? Perhaps a handful of times?

     This weekend, I went to a national park for three days with a few friends. One of them had another friend from her college back in the U.S. visiting for the weekend. It was neat to see a stranger to this country find her footing and her Spanish (she ended one of the evenings with the oft-forgotten send-off Buen Nocho). I have the utmost respect for people who are willing to put themselves in new and uncomfortable situations. I'm not even specifically advocating travel abroad, although that certainly fits the bill. It could even be as simple as spending an afternoon in a different part of town. Or it could be choosing not to move because of a noble reason: taking care of a family member or living a life a simplicity away from the distractions of a consumeristic society.


      In my life there's been plenty of instances where I feared or was at least uneasy about a new challenge or experience. I was nervous in high school to spend six weeks in the summer Washington, D.C. by myself with a group of total strangers. The next year, I questioned whether I could lead a retreat and give two 30 minute talks to a group of my peers. Entering college, I wondered if my decision to go away to Washington was the right one. Even this trip to Costa Rica was a tough decision. In all these examples, I decided to go ahead even without complete certainty. I trusted that God would provide me with whatever provisions would be necessary. As it turned out, all of those experiences were greater than I could have ever imagined. I've received support in every sense of the word from my family, friends and even strangers. What scares me today is not to say yes to such a new challenge, but to say no; to have a strong feeling that I should do something and not pursue it out of fear of failure. As Edward Field wrote:

Icarus

Only the feathers floating around the hat

Showed that anything more spectacular had occurred

Than the usual drowning.  The police preferred to ignore

The confusing aspects of the case, 

And the witnesses ran off to a gang war.

So the report filed and forgotten in the archives read simply

“Drowned,” but it was wrong: Icarus

Had swum away, coming at last to the city

Where he rented a house and tended the garden.

“That nice Mr. Hicks” the neighbors called,

Never dreaming that the gray, respectable suit

Concealed arms that had controlled huge wings

Nor that those sad, defeated eyes had once 

Compelled the sun.  And had he told them

They would have answered with a shocked,

uncomprehending stare.

No, he could not disturb their neat front yards

Yet all his books insisted that this was a horrible mistake:

What was he doing aging in a suburb?

Can the genius of the hero fall

To the middling stature of the merely talented?

And nightly Icarus probes his wound

And daily in his workshop, curtains carefully drawn,

Constructs small wings and tries to fly

To the lighting fixture on the ceiling:

Fails every time and hates himself for trying.

He had thought himself a hero, had acted heroically,

And dreamt of his fall, the tragic fall of the hero;

But now rides commuter trains,

Serves on various committees,

And wishes he had drowned. 

     Build wings big enough to make this world a little better for your being in it.