On Marriage

     By now, I'm sure you are aware that the President and Vice President have both voiced their personal support this week for same-sex marriage. While it is disappointing that two men who profess their Christian beliefs would publicly support such a measure, it is hardly surprising. It seems that marriage, more than any other issue, causes many Christians, and especially Catholics, to waver in their fidelity to the Church.

     One of the reasons why so many Christians support same-sex marriage is that it is framed in a way that is deceptive. One of the popular claims made, one that President Obama himself used, is that extending marriage to those in same-sex relationships furthers equality.  During the interview where he made his new beliefs known, the President even tried to use Christ as a justification for supporting a measure that goes against God's natural law. He said:

...in the end the values that I care most deeply about and she [Mrs. Obama] cares most deeply about is how we treat other people and, you know, I, you know, we are both practicing Christians and obviously this position may be considered to put us at odds with the views of others but, you know, when we think about our faith, the thing at root that we think about is, not only Christ sacrificing himself on our behalf, but it's also the Golden Rule, you know, treat others the way you would want to be treated.

     When I first heard the President's reasoning, I had to pause to think. Like listening to a salesman making a pitch, I got the sense that something didn't quite logically fit. In this case, President Obama has adapted Christ's plea, so whatever you wish that men would to do to you, do so to them (Mt 7:12), to fit the moral relativistic society he governs. We as heterosexuals would not enjoy being told we could not marry, so thus it is not "Christian" to restrict marriage.

     The problem with the President's interpretation of scripture is he picks out a particularly well known verse without providing the full context of what Jesus preached. Let us consider the "Golden Rule", in the context of the two preceding verses:

Or what man of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! So whatever you wish that men would to do to you, do so to them. (Mt 7:9-12)

     We can clearly see that Jesus is not implying that we ought to give anything to anyone who asks, simply because it would not be loving to do otherwise. To the contrary, we are called to give good gifts.  Just as a stone only appears to be bread and a serpent only resembles a fish at a glance, any "marriage" between a two men or two woman would be nothing more than a facsimile of what God intends Holy Matrimony to be for His children.

     

     Marriage creates the structure through which a family is created and humanity is propagated. The problem with same-sex marriages are that the marriage is not centered around the family ideal. Granted, this problem is found is many heterosexual marriages today as well. Until very recently, marriage in all societies was more about procreation and the rearing of children that would be responsible, contributing members of society rather than the husband and wife as individuals. Today, our 50% divorce rate is indicative of the emphasis now placed on the personal happiness of the husband and wife. God intended for marriage to join man and woman into one being. Just as one cannot cleave themselves if they are displeased or facing times of turmoil, the married couple was meant to place their vows of matrimony before their own wants and ambitions. Sadly, these egotistical considerations have smeared God's great gift of matrimony, leaving our society with a mess of broken homes and a whole generation of children who have never been exposed to responsible, dedicated parents who place familial cohesion over personal comfort.

     

     Given our culture's flawed view of traditional marriage as a sexual relationship, it should not surprise us that the time is ripe for a push towards acceptance of same-sex marriage. If you believe that marriage is a right and not a God-given gift, and you believe that its primary purpose is anything other than procreation, than there is little reason why we ought not support giving same-sex couples marriage licenses. But then, why would we stop there? If the sexual relationship defines marriage, then why should a group marriage of 3, 4, or 5 people be disallowed? If marriage is more about the financial benefits of tax exemptions and social security, then why not allow polygamy? If restricting marriage goes against the "Golden Rule", then perhaps the President should propose that all first cousins be allowed to wed. Of course, cousins in committed relationships probably isn't enough of an electorate for his views to "evolve" to that extreme.

     The Church's views on homosexuality are clearly state in the Catechism:

     The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter.

I have gay friends, coworkers, and classmates. I try to treat them with the dignity they deserve as children of God, like everyone else. However, my faith tells me homosexual relationships are unnatural and immoral, since they cannot lead to new life. I wish more Catholics were open to showing care and concern for homosexuals, while at the same time making clear that their lifestyle is one which leads them away from God. Obviously, there are many homosexuals who do not wish to change their lifestyle, just as there are many heterosexuals who do not wish to give up their desires of the flesh. Yet, I wonder if the Catholic Church does all it can to reach out to those who do wish or may be open to overcoming their tendencies. In my own experience, I know too often I have just assumed that the homosexuals I know have made a decision to choose that life over one in the Church. During my time in college in Washington, however, I've met or have heard about numerous young adults who, despite their sexual orientation, seek ways to continue participating in the Church. To me, their example is the strongest evidence to support the Church's teachings on homosexuality. It would be so easy, even logical, for these men and women to abandon the faith altogether. Yet, something about Catholicism, its truth, keeps them near as they grapple with the cross they must bear. Though their lifestyle and society may tell them to flee from the Lord, in their hearts they, like Saint Peter, cry out Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. (Jn 6:68)