Off to Monteverde!

     I'm leaving the cozy confines of my homestay this weekend to go to the rain forest and zip line, rappel through a waterfall, and other fun and probably ill-advised activities. I'll be back Sunday, and you can expect a new post on Monday. Until then, here's a thought to ponder...

     I read an article earlier this week about the memories of the niece of Venerable Archbishop Fulton Sheen, who was the first televangelist and the most recognizable Catholic of the mid 20th century besides the Pope. She said that often, when she and her uncle were walking in public, people would come up to him and plead for money. He always gave each beggar $20, regardless of how far-fetched and absurd their story. One time she asked him if he ever worried whether the beggars, knowing his charitable nature, were taking advantage of him by making up stories. How could he be sure they really needed help? He responded that he was sure some were, but that he could not take the chance.

     How often do we take that chance?

On Freedom

     Often times, when people find out I am a devout Catholic, there is a look of pity, sometimes even incredulity, that appears on their faces. They will rarely come out and say it directly, but it is obvious that the question of why is running through their heads. Why give of your time and treasure in the name of a man who lived 2,000 years ago? Why follow a Church that has been so flawed historically? Why be willing to sacrifice the tangible pleasures of this world for a belief, a gamble, that may not exist? Ultimately, all these questions hint at a larger one: why give up my freedom?

     Last night, I began reading G.K. Chesterton's Orthodoxy (accessible for free by clicking the link). This book, essentially an autobiography detailing how the early 20th century writer and lover of philosophy came to find freedom and a satisfied life within the "constraints" of Christianity, is one that I have been meaning to get to for a long time. I am only 40 pages in (it's about 120 pages long), but I can safely say that it has already given me more to think about than most books of considerably greater length. To my surprise, Chesterton addresses the very question of liberation in Christianity in a way that  I never thought to consider. He writes:

The Christian is quite free to believe that there is a considerable amount of settled order and inevitable development in the universe. But the materialist is not allowed to admit into his spotless machine the slightest speck of spiritualism or miracle...The Christian admits that the universe in manifold and even miscellaneous, just as a sane man knows that he is complex. The sane man knows that he has a touch of beast, a touch of the devil, a touch of the saint, a touch of the citizen. Nay, the really sane man knows he has a touch of the madman. But the materialist's world is quite simple and solid, just as the madman is quite sure he is sane...Spiritual doctrines do not actually limit the mind as do materialistic denials. Even if I believe in immortality I need not think about it. But if I disbelieve in immortality I must not think about it. In the first case the road is open and I can go as far as I like; in the second the road is shut.

     To live in the world and believe that this world contains the sum total of existence is the most limiting doctrine to which one can adhere. If this world is the alpha and the omega, then existence is, to again borrow Chesterton's imagery, a circle. The world, like the circle, is fixed. There is no destination except to return to one's original state of nothingness. For the non-believer, what is life but a brief trip around the circle? One can accumulate much in the way of worldly riches, but must give them up before coming to rest in the grave. Chesterton calls this life "centripetal" because it pulls everything into the world's confined space.

     Conversely, Christianity, and especially Catholicism, is centrifugal. At the heart of a Christian life is the Cross. The Truth of the Cross-- that the Creator would enter the World and give up life to ransom humanity's sin-- confounds logic and reason. It stirs and spins our consciousness, our very souls, in such a manner that we are liberated from the circle before reaching its end. Knowing this frees us from limiting ourselves to the pleasures of the world.
   
      While Chesterton says that non-believers must not think of immortality, I would add that many must   not think of death either. It is a jolt to hear that someone is dying, and often the expression is used as an exaggeration ("I feel like I'm dying").  The reality that most cannot reconcile is that, if this world is it, then we are all dying; each breath draws us closer to the end of existence. If the non-believer is to be believed, then life itself is a terminal illness. What a cruel joke that would be, that we were born to die! Thus, the majority of non-believers go on living with an almost necessary aloofness to the reality of their doctrine. They build careers, worry about the future, and even do acts of selfless charity for the benefit of others. Yet what do any of these things matter if the world ends with your death? What does the well-being of another matter if he and she will be following you down the path of non-existence in short order? Likewise, it always amuses me that many atheists show great reverence for the environment. It makes sense on a certain level that this would be the case: for the environment has more staying power than an individual. But even the environment, if we are to believe that scientific models will run their course without a God to intervene, will one day become uninhabitable once our Sun runs out of energy or an asteroid finds Earth's path through the cosmos once again. And at that moment the environment will die no less a death than every human who inhabited it theretofore. Thus, for an atheist to care for anything except their own fleeting life is a mere plea for meaning: an attempt to throw the baton of purpose we all hold in our psyches behind us in hopes a bit of our essence will be able to live on with another runner in the race to death, past the time when our corporal selves are rendered to dust. The problem is that existence without God, life in the circle that is, does not permit the extension we so desperately crave. And our craving is a proof that it exists, in my opinion. Just as hunger hints at the existence of food and fatigue lets us know that sleep is a real phenomenon, our longing for immortality suggests that that very immortality is not only possible, but an unalterable fact.

     Yet just as a person can ignore their hunger and remain hungry, just as a person can restrict their sleep and remain fatigued, so too can a person ignore their immortality and remain trapped in this finite world, free only insofar as they can dull their minds to meditating on their own cowardice. It takes a strong person to believe without understanding fully all the ways of God. Only a fool believes only of what has already been revealed to him. Our society reveres such non-believers as free thinkers and intellectuals, but they are barely more than bullies and control-seekers, people who would much rather, in lieu of paying rent in God's penthouse, own an outhouse and complain about those who accepted God's generosity.

     Society is unsettled by Christianity because it, like Jesus himself, is a sign of contradiction. I would be lying if I said that following Christ is all fun. There was tremendous suffering in Jesus' life; he was a man scorned, mocked and abandoned. As followers of Christ, we suffer in emulation. There is a reason we Catholics wear ashes on our foreheads on Ash Wednesday: we are dust and to dust we shall return. But if we turn away from sin and are faithful to the Gospel, then we will find eternal life after our deaths. Thus, there is joy in suffering when it is freely accepted and even desired, if it draws us closer to Christ. This is the ultimate freedom: freedom from death. The authentic Christian has no fear of death. The truly authentic Christian even dares to anticipate and long for death--not in a suicidal way--but as a means to arrive to the glory of Heaven. To live as such necessitates a detachment--a liberation--from worldly possessions. Only then are we free, like the apostles, to drop everything and follow Jesus.

     So who is more free? Is it I, who can live in this world yet dream of one to come which is far more enjoyable? I, who hold nothing material of such value that I am a slave to it? Or is it the one who lives only for a time in this world, constrained with the knowledge of his or her own mortality? The one who is beholden to gadgets or alcohol or drugs or money or a million other passing pleasures that must be perpetually restocked and financed at the expense of one's freedom to feel fulfilled without these dependencies. Perhaps the preceding questions were a bit leading, but in any event and I am here to proclaim that there is freedom, complete freedom, in Christ. It is the freedom to choose the good.

Counting Costs

     Today's post is an excerpt from C.S. Lewis' classic Mere Christianity. There's enough in these few paragraphs to reflect on for a lifetime, in my opinion...

I find a good many people have been bothered by what I said in the previous Chapter about Our Lord's words, `Be ye perfect.' Some people seem to think this means 'Unless you are perfect, I will not help you'; and as we cannot be perfect, then, if He meant that, our position is hopeless. But I do not think He did mean that. I think He meant 'The only help I will give is help to become perfect. You may want something less: but I will give you nothing less.'

Let me explain. When I was a child I often had toothache, and I knew that if I went to my mother she would give me something which would deaden the pain for that night and let me get to sleep. But I did not go to my mother-at least, not till the pain became very bad. And the reason I did not go was this. I did not doubt she would give me the aspirin; but I knew she would also do something else. I knew she would take me to the dentist next morning. I could not get what I wanted out of her without getting something more, which I did not want. I wanted immediate relief from pain: but I could not get it without having my teeth set permanently right. And I knew those dentists; I knew they started fiddling about with all sorts of other teeth which had not yet begun to ache. They would not let sleeping dogs lie; if you gave them an inch they took an ell.

Now, if I may put it that way, Our Lord is like the dentists. If you give Him an inch, He will take an ell. Dozens of people go to Him to be cured of some one particular sin which they are ashamed of (like masturbation or physical cowardice) or which is obviously spoiling daily life (like bad temper or drunkenness). Well, He will cure it all right: but He will not stop there. That may be all you asked; but if once you call Him in, He will give you the full treatment.

That is why He warned people to 'count the cost' before becoming Christians. 'Make no mistake; He says, 'if you let me, I will make you perfect. The moment you put yourself in My hands, that is what you are in for. Nothing less, or other, than that. You have free will, and if you choose, you can push Me away. But if you do not push Me away, understand that I am going to see this job through. Whatever suffering it may cost you in your earthly life, whatever inconceivable purification it may cost you after death, whatever it costs Me, I will never rest, nor let you rest, until you are literally perfect-until my Father can say without reservation that He is well pleased with you, as He said He was well pleased with me. This I can do and will do. But I will not do anything less.'

And yet - this is the other and equally important side of it - this Helper who will, in the long run, be satisfied with nothing less than absolute perfection, will also be delighted with the first feeble, stumbling effort you make to-morrow to do the simplest duty. As a great Christian writer (George MacDonald) pointed out, every father is pleased at the baby's first attempt to walk: no father would be satisfied with anything less than a firm, free, manly walk in a grown-up son. In the same way, he said, 'God is easy to please, but hard to satisfy.'

The practical upshot is this. On the one hand, God's demand for perfection need not discourage you in the least in your present attempts to be good, or even in your present failures. Each time you fall He will pick you up again. And He knows perfectly well that your own efforts are never going to bring you anywhere near perfection. On the other hand, you must realise from the outset that the goal towards which He is beginning to guide you is absolute perfection; and no power in the whole universe, except you yourself, can prevent Him from taking you to that goal. That is what you are in for. And it is very important to realise that. If we do not, then we are very likely to start pulling back and resisting Him after a certain point. I think that many of us, when Christ has enabled us to overcome one or two sins that were an obvious nuisance, are inclined to feel (though we do not put it into words) that we are now good enough. He has done all we wanted Him to do, and we should be obliged if He would now leave us alone. As we say 'I never expected to be a saint, I only wanted to be a decent ordinary chap.' And we imagine when we say this that we are being humble.

But this is the fatal mistake. Of course we never wanted, and never asked, to be made into the sort of creatures He is going to make us into. But the question is not what we intended ourselves to be, but what He intended us to be when He made us. He is the inventor, we are only the machine. He is the painter, we are only the picture. How should we know what He means us to be like? You see, He has already made us something very different from what we were. Long ago, before we were born, when we were inside our mothers' bodies, we passed through various stages. We were once rather like vegetables, and once rather like fish: it was only at a later stage that we became like human babies. And if we had been conscious at those earlier stages, I daresay we should have been quite contented to stay as vegetables or fish - should not have wanted to be made into babies. But all the time He knew His plan for us and was determined to carry it out. Something the same is now happening at a higher level. We may be content to remain what we call `ordinary people': but He is determined to carry out a quite different plan. To shrink back from that plan is not humility; it is laziness and cowardice. To submit to it is not conceit or megalomania; it is obedience.

Here is another way of putting the two sides of the truth. On the one hand we must never imagine that our own unaided efforts can be relied on to carry us even through the next twenty-four hours as `decent' people. If He does not support us, not one of us is safe from some gross sin. On the other hand, no possible degree of holiness or heroism which has ever been recorded of the greatest saints is beyond what He is determined to produce in every one of us in the end. The job will not be completed in this life: but He means to get us as far as possible before death.

That is why we must not be surprised if we are in for a rough time. When a man turns to Christ and seems to be getting on pretty well (in the sense that some of his bad habits are now corrected), he often feels that it would now be natural if things went fairly smoothly. When troubles come along - illnesses, money troubles, new kinds of temptation - he is disappointed. These things, he feels, might have been necessary to rouse him and make him repent in his bad old days; but why now? Because God is forcing him on, or up, to a higher level: putting him into situations where he will have to be very much braver, or more patient, or more loving, than he ever dreamed of being before. It seems to us all unnecessary: but that is because we have not yet had the slightest notion of the tremendous thing He means to make of us.

I find I must borrow yet another parable from George MacDonald. Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurt abominably and does not seem to make sense. What oil earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of-throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.

The command Be ye perfect is not idealistic gas. Nor is it a command to do the impossible. He is going to make us into creatures that can obey that command. He said (in the Bible) that we were 'gods' and He is going to make good His words. If we let Him - for we can prevent Him, if we choose - He will make the feeblest and filthiest of us into a god or goddess, a dazzling, radiant, immortal creature, pulsating all through with such energy and joy and wisdom and love as we cannot now imagine, a bright stainless mirror which reflects back to God perfectly (though, of course, on a smaller scale) His own boundless power and delight and goodness. The process will be long and in parts very painful; but that is what we are in for. Nothing less. He meant what He said.

Weekend Trip to Montezuma ( with Photos!)

     So this weekend 11 friends and I went to Montezuma, a small forest and beach town on Costa Rica's Pacific Coast. The weather was exceptional and the scenery was gorgeous. Living so close to the Great Lakes most of my life, the salinity of the Ocean waves is still a shock and ongoing adjustment.

     In the days leading up to this trip, I had been a little worried taking a whole weekend off and falling behind on homework and some projects due in the next couple of weeks. Once I got to Montezuma, however, those worries quickly melted away. Walking through the forest and hearing the beautiful calls of the various tropical birds that were hiding in the foliage overhead, I reflected on what Jesus said regarding suffer: Look at the birds of the air: they neither reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not more valuable than they? And which of you by being anxious can add one second to his life span? (Mt 6:26-27) We can glorify God through laying down our worries and doubts, which provide us no benefit, and taking up the mantle of trust and faith in He who knows our deepest wants and, more importantly, most pressing needs.

     The theme of trust continued this weekend on Saturday morning. After getting up early to watch the sun rise over the ocean, I was reading morning prayers and drinking coffee in the outdoor lounge when my friend Colin sat down and joined me. We began conversing and he showed me one of the daily prayers he recites, one I had never before seen. It's a Covenant Prayer written by Methodism's founder John Wesley:

I am no longer my own, but thine.

Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.

Put me to doing, put me to suffering.

Let me be employed for thee or laid aside for thee,

exalted for thee or brought low for thee.

Let me be full, let me be empty.

Let me have all things, let me have nothing.

I freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure and disposal.

And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,

thou art mine, and I am thine.

So be it.

And the covenant which I have made on earth,

let it be ratified in heaven.

Amen.

     Reading that prayer led me to do an examination of my own conscience, during which I realized that I have not been as humble and patient with others lately as I want others to be with me. It is easy to criticize others for their faults and join others in pointing them out. On the other hand, it is quite difficult, even a form of suffering, to willingly overlook somebody's flaws in acknowledgment that, regardless of their shortcomings, they are still a child of God and endowed with the same dignity and respect you and I pridefully expect to be afforded.



     Looking back with a clear head at how I have talked about some people during the past month, I feel ashamed and disappointed. These sins of pride are not small matters, for what would happen to us if God dealt with us as severely as we deal with others. Yet in Psalm 130 I find comfort: If thou, O Lord, should mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with thee. (Ps 130:3-4) In God, there is the forgiveness we often withhold giving others. That is certainly something to consider the next time harsh words about another are about to exit our mouths. If we are truthful with ourselves, there are probably more harsh words we can utter about ourselves than about everyone else we know combined. The choice, then ought to be first between silence or self-critisism. Operating as such, I think one would find a lot less noise polluting our peace.

Getting My Just Desserts...or Partially Over-Cooked Fish

     Can't shake the feeling that my host mom was testing me tonight,. I sat down at the dinner table and found a plate of delicious food was already awaiting my consumption. The only problem was the fish was left cooking a bit too long and it's consistency was more like a shoe than tilapia. Anywhere else, I would have asked for a different piece or at the very least chosen to discard of it. Yet here, for whatever reason, I have been extremely hesitant to give my mother any negative feedback on her cooking. And that's not to say I've been faking--this was the first time that I have had a major problem with anything in the month I've been eating under her roof. Rather, I've just been unwilling to make any critique or substitution to her menu. Perhaps it's her sweetness or perhaps it's the passive-aggressiveness that permeates through this country, but I vowed to myself that I would treat all dinners like mailmen treat their jobs, and battle through no matter the conditions on the ground...or plate.

     In hindsight, perhaps I have been too quick to heap praise and too unbelievable in my enjoyment of every possible form of rice and beans my mom has whipped up. Her suspicions raised, tonight this fish was the litmus test for my sincerity. Surely, she thought, I would have to speak up this time. AL CONTRARIO, MAMATICA! Given my well developed forearm muscles, I was able to saw through the majority of the fillet, despite being given what I know to be the dullest knife she owns. No sooner did I get to the last piece which was both too tough to cut and too large to politely fit in my mouth, my mother, her mother and her aunt sat down around the table to eat their meals. A quick survey of their plates confirmed my fear. For they had the same food as I, save the fish, which had mysteriously been replaced by an egg! It was as if to say, just give in and speak up! There's an alternative to this madness! But the principle at this point had clouded my reason, and I was certainly past the point of no return. And so they sat with their plates untouched before them, their soul purpose to watch the Lebron James-like drama that was my decision as to what to do with that last piece of fish unfold.
   
     The tension was palpable. They did not stare me down, for that would have been too obvious. Instead, they sat with their heads down as if they were in an interminably long moment of contemplation. Every so often, however, their eyes would glance, however fleetingly, in my direction. I spent the next seven minutes buying myself some time to figure out a way out of this culinary conundrum by individually eating each of the final 27 grains of rice that remained on my plate. If an ant had managed to crawl on my plate during this period, I probably would have eaten it too, if only to avoid the final reckoning that was that crusty piece of über well-done pescado. Yet, as John Donne would have said, if he were alive and there as opposed to being dead and entombed at St. Paul's in London: The bell tolled for me!

     At last, I saw a window of opportunity! A fault in the watch! For a brief moment, all three women's eyes were cast down on the red tablecloth! If I could just get that last piece down before they looked my way again, I could say con permiso and walk away freer than O.J. Simpson after a double homicide! And so, in what very well could have been my last act of courage, I chose to swallow my pride and the oversized morsel and see what would become of me. I knew I had to hurry and finish masticating before one of them raised their accusatory eyes and say whatever the Spainsh equivalent is of gotcha! I chewed so ferociously and feverishly that my face must have been a contorted spectacle. I thought I (or rather my salivary enzymes) were making progress when my Mom, sensing a disturbance in the force rose her head and our eyes met. There I was, a revered gringo, humiliated on the field of battle. Now I know how Lee must have felt when he surrendered to Grant at Appomattox.

     Mother smiled lovingly at her vanquished child and said, with all the double entendre that a two-word phrase can possess, ¿Quiere más? (Want more?)

     And I, mouth still full of fried fish, managed to mumble, Estoy bien. 

On Struggles

     This we has been a pretty difficult week for me, as I have heard from a lot of friends and people whom I love who are struggling through a variety of different problems in their own lives.  One is stressed out about his first test of the semester; another is finding it tough to acclimate to life here in Costa Rica. A third has changed her major in hopes of finding something more meaningful, but still feels unfulfilled and a fourth has grown tired of the university he attends but feels too far into his studies there to transfer. A few others are going through intense personal struggles such as a boyfriend of over a year dumping her over the phone, and a best friend dying unexpectedly. Then there's people I care about who seem to be always up against it, perpetually getting to the top of the mountain only to have the boulder of their burdens knock them back down to the base. I pray for all these poor souls each night before I go to bed and I trust that God has a purpose for the pain they suffer, but my inability to help much is tough to stomach. I wish that I could carry some of these troubles and let my beloved friends and family have a day or even a few moments to at least gather up their strength.

     It was with this heavy heart that I was reading the Bible today between classes. In the Gospel of Saint Luke, the Evangelist writes on a couple different occasions that Mary "ponders" or "keeps" thoughts and pains "in her heart." Mary had a life that was full of moments of intense sadness and sorrow, most of all for her beloved Son. Yet never once did her faith in God's plan or willingness to be a "faithful "handmaid" waver. She stayed with the Lord all the way to the foot of the Cross.

     Perhaps you, like I, have friends or family right now that need you to stand with them as they carry their own personal crosses. Often, there is nothing we can do but offer companionship and a willingness to love. The best ministry we can give to loved ones in distress sometimes is a sympathetic ear and a warm embrace. I have nothing to offer anyone of the people that bare their hearts and share their problems with me except my unflinching belief that God never gives people more than they can handle if they are filled with faith and hope. Yet I think there is a tremendous power and comfort in knowing that there is a person who is willing to be there at the foot of their cross.

Costa Rica: The Quarter Report

     So we (really just I) have made it through the first 4 of my 16 weeks in Costa Rica! "Made it through" really isn't an adequate description to assess how things have gone so far. A month ago, there was a lot of excitement, but it was certainly checkered with a lot of unknowns. I was going to a country I had never visited to study with classmates I had never met and live with a family I had never seen who spoke a language I had never spoken for any meaningful period of time. I wouldn't say that I doubted my ability or even that I doubted how I would acclimate to any of those challenges individually. I will admit, however, that facing all those factors simultaneously was a bit daunting.

      Four weeks later, I can say that this experience has toped all of my expectations and I feel I've really grown a lot in just this short period of time. Most of all, I feel a sense of peace and comfort here that I didn't expect. There are severals factors that have helped me attain this equanimity. First and foremost, my faith has been the key element of my life here. I won't speak at length about it in this post, since the majority of this blog is a chronicle of my faith journey. That said, having that correct ordering of priorities in life has been such a blessing. I think I was able to travel here without the weight of other's expectations of me. I was given a clean slate here in Costa Rica, and I have utilized it to try and live the more of the life I have always known I am capable of living yet never felt able to actually put into practice.

     Secondly, the other students on this program have been some of the best companions for this experience that I could have imagined. I've been able to forge close friendships with a few already. I know that may sound like an overstatement given the brevity of our time together, but sometimes you can just sense that certain people are going to have a good rapport with you. At risk of offending all those wonderful compañeros who I do not mention by name (I tolerate you all! .... mas o menos...), I shall give three special "shout outs":

• First, there's Colin. He has taught me more about Kalamazoo College, a small school ironically situated in the city of Kalamazoo, Michigan (which I knew only as the birthplace of Derek Jeter!), than I ever dreamt possible. But all the "K"-nowledge is the least of why I am mentioning him. He's also a Christian who has been rediscovering his faith on this trip, something I can relate well too. Our Thursday morning coffee dates have produced some of the better conversations I've had the pleasure of engaging in on this trip. He usually wears a smile, and that's a challenge sometimes during our long school days. His joy is contagious and challenges me to be a more positive person.

• Next is Jill. Jill is many things. She's environmentally conscious, picking up plastic bottles and carrying them the duration of a 15-minute walk to properly place them into a recycling receptacle. She's extremely healthy, eating more carrots than Bugs Bunny and yet somehow managing to exercise enough to burn the copious amount of calories she consumes therein. She's got a great sense of humor! Whereas my sarcasm is usually apparent, her humor flies under the radar and sneaks up when you least expect it. But what I find most respectable about Jill is her sincerity. An air of genuineness permeates everything she does and says in a way I have never witnessed elsewhere. She asks questions that are so straightforward yet insightful that I have to pause and think in order to give an answer that matches the quality of the inquiry. I feel like I am a better person for just having met her, and I hope our friendship only grows as the semester continues!

• Last, but certainly not least, is Peter, who was gravely scorned by yesterday's blog post being titled, "On Peter", yet containing no reference to him. Therefore, his "shout out" merits special consideration given the emotional distress to which I subjected him. So where do I begin? I'm fairly certain he and I are kindred spirits. I'm pretty sure our friendship on this trip began due to our similar comedic style, which I'll term observation sarcasm. Once we got to talking, however, I found that we also shared much more. Behind the silliness and jokes, there lies a very perceptive and shrewd thinker. We have very similar concepts of how one ought to live a good life and what is important in terms of values. We both hold community service in high esteem, and don't like when people are disingenuous and hypocritical. He likes to think for himself and does not do things for arbitrary reasons. My comfort level with him is something I've only shared with a few of my best friends. I feel I as though I can share anything with him and not be afraid of being judged or having my trust breached. His friendship is invaluable to me on this trip and, hopefully, will be beyond it as well.

     If it seems unlikely that I could have formed these three friendships in a mere four weeks, then I agree with you. I never expected to make such strong connections with people I had never met. When I look back on the numerous choices I had regarding where, when and even if to study abroad, I cannot explain my finding my way here by any other means short of God's grace. Last year, someone told me, "The will of God won't ever lead you where the grace of God can't keep you." That expression has taken on new meaning for me this past month. I have no doubt I am here for a reason and to fulfill a purpose. I signed up for this program because of classes on human rights, but I have learned more about humanity from the people I am surrounded by than I could ever learn from a textbook. 

On Peter

     A couple weeks ago, I wrote on Jesus' trials while fasting in the desert and His resistance of Satan's temptations.  At the end of Saint Luke's account, he writes that when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from Him until an opportune time. (Lk 4:13) The message is somewhat disconcerting, yet I think we find it to happen time and again in our own lives. The human life ebbs and flows through moments of great temptation to do evil like large waves that come in from the vast sea of existence. There are stretches where the waves subside and the waters are calm, but we are acutely aware that temptation is never far away. To use another natural example, our earthly lives are lived as though a great tornado is bandying about all around us. There are times of calm, but we ought to be mindful that it is at these times when we are squarely in the eye of the twister of temptation, not safely outside its influence.

     In any event, we find in today's Gospel (Mk 8:27-35), the devil has returned to the Lord with a vengeance. Jesus and His disciples are walking when He asks them, Who do people say that I am? The question is a purposeful one: for certainly Jesus already knew that many who heard Him speak considered Him as the second coming of one of the great prophets such as Elijah. Initially, the disciples tell Jesus as much, which sets the stage for Him to ask the far more important question: But who do you say that I am? I get the impression from the account that this inquiry was met with a few moments of silence. The disciples were probably looking at each other, wondering who would have the courage to provide a reply. In truth, many of the disciples at that point in Jesus' ministry probably thought what many of the people thought; Jesus was a great prophet and teacher. Yet we find that Peter sees Jesus' true nature in His response: You are the Christ.

     To our Lord, it must have been a great relief to have someone acknowledge His true nature. Peter's profession allows Jesus to speak openly in the subsequent lines about the suffering, rejection and death He was to endure in the future. At this moment of candidness, the devil returns and seeks to work through Peter to dissuade Christ. Peter takes Him aside and counsels Him not to go through with the crucification. Jesus replies very bluntly, saying Get behind me, Satan. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.

     How are we to read this shocking rebuke of Peter--the future "rock" upon which the early Church was to be formed? First, the rebuke was not directed at Peter so much as the evil that was speaking from within him. He scolded Peter because he was trying to prevent Jesus from accomplishing the His purpose. Jesus rebuked him promptly because He knew that it was a bad idea to let temptation linger. The devil was trying to exploit the emotions Jesus must have been feeling. The relief He felt from Peter's proclamation of the Lord as Christ no doubt had Jesus feeling a special bond with Peter at that very moment. It is only human to feel a special bond with those who show us love and respect, and Jesus was fully human as well as fully divine. The issue lies in that it is also human nature to want to please our friends and listen to their legitimate advice. The Gospel does not give an account of Peter's words to Jesus, but surely he seemed to be acting out of love and concern for his friend who had just told him His life would be in danger. Yet even the love and advice of friends can be the work of the devil when it is intended to counter or impede the fulfillment of God's will. Jesus, knowing this, is able to risk His friendship with Peter in order to avoid compromising the work of salvation.

     How many Peters do we have in our lives--good friends or family members who try and prevent us, under the guise of their best intentions to help us, from doing what we know we ought? Do we have the courage to be respectful but firm with them, like Jesus was with Simon Peter? Or do we usually give in to the pressure because we do not want to "rock the boat" with the people we interact with most frequently?

     At the end of the Gospel, Jesus addresses a crowd and tells them, Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and that of the gospel will save it. Sometimes, our denial must take the form of denying ourselves complete peace with our brothers and sisters. Sometimes, we are called to carry the cross of being mocked and disliked, because we seek to stay true to the faith in a world that seeks to satisfy itself first. We are continually tempted to save things of this world-- friendships, positions of power and wealth, honor and pride-- at the expense of our convictions. When we do so we are, in a very real sense, preparing our death because we our surrounding ourselves with things that will not last past our earthly deaths. What will vast riches purchase the dead man? Will not a man who is honorable in the eyes of the world be largely forgotten once his home and the home of those that honored him is the grave? Will the friend you chose over God be able to save you once it is time to face judgement from the God whose friendship you spurned?

     If all these things we long for are transient, then what sense is there to make them out to be our gods? Wealth and people, honor and power are all good things when they are order correctly in our lives. But none of them can offer the salvation that the Lord alone provides. Thus, we should order everything in our lives below God, and as such be willing to lose any and all of them for the sake of saving our place in heaven.

     This logic is absurd to many people because they do not believe in life after death. If that is the case, then they are correct. But then one cannot then also deny that life on earth is absurd as well, because it serves no greater purpose than to simply occur. This was the message of classical existential atheists like Albert Camus and Jean-Paul Sartre. Yet if we do believe in life after death, then death is no longer really a death but rather a birthday, and life on earth greatly shrinks in terms of its relative importance in the scope of the eternal life of our soul. When viewed from this lens, it then becomes absurd to clutch onto the imperfect "treasures" of this world, only to find our hands too full to grad hold of God's eternal gift of perfect rest in Him. If we believe that life after death is real, then we ought to desire others to attain that life and be willing to preach of Jesus--the one who, by virtue of His unquenchable love, so desired to procure that life for us that He willingly denied Himself, took up His Cross, and lost His life on Earth.

     In order to follow Christ, one must willingly sacrifice some things and be willing, if called, to sacrifice all things. The great writer C.S. Lewis once said, "Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important." I would argue that the same can be said about this earthly life we are all living. If there is no God, then it is of no importance. If there is a God, however, then life here is of infinite importance, because it is the doorway through to a closer relationship and true knowledge of God in heaven. Yet many reverse those last two clauses and determine that, because there is no true knowledge of God in this life, He must not exist. We must all determine whether we hear the muffled, distant calling in the very pit of our being, and whether we want to summon up the courage to follow the call to its source. We will not know for certain until the moment of our death, but it very well could be God beckoning through the door of doubt and into the grand foyer of faith.

Two Beams of Wood

     Today, the Catholic Church celebrates The Exaltation of the Holy Cross of Jesus. Yet, perhaps, it might be more accurate if we were to say that the Church is celebrating the Great Paradox of Christian Faith. The world does not like paradoxes, and the Cross has and will continue to upset society, so long as society seeks to stay separate from its call of sacrifice and suffering.

     The Cross is the ultimate manifestation of a multitude of paradoxes in the message and meaning of Jesus. He was fully God, yet came to Earth in the form of a poor carpenter, born in a stable. He came to save humanity for all eternity from sin, yet His ministry lasted only a little more than 3 years. That ministry consisted of the profound proclamation that He is the way, and the truth, and the life (Jn 14:6), yet He revealed that proclamation using simple parables.

     Even His parables contained paradoxes. He likened Himself to the smallest grain of wheat, which must die alone. Yet once it does, it becomes the seed that lives forever in the fruit it bears (Jn 12:24). At one moment He called peacemakers blessed (Mt 5:9), while at another He declared, do not think that I have come to bring peace on Earth; I have come not to bring peace, but a sword. (Mt 10:34). It is in this duality that the true message of the Cross can be found. Jesus came to offer salvation to the peacemakers and to cut down the proud. His was a heroic mission, but it was a mission dedicated to those whom the Earth considers the poor and lowly. He came because he loves us but hates our sin, so much so that He was willing to take on our sin, and suffer the utter humiliation of the Cross.

     While the cross is an instrument of humiliation and torture, the Cross of Christ is pure redemptive love. God's work of salvation takes nothing less than to turn human expectations on their head. Humanity expects an exalted King; instead it gets a humble, suffering servant. The world wants someone who heals on demand; instead it receives a man who it demands be wounded. The world wants someone to preach unrestrained life; but has in Jesus the message that one has to die to oneself, die to one's desires.

     Often, we are like those disciples of Jesus who said, this is a hard saying, who can listen to it? (Jn 6:60). Yet, as Saint Paul wrote, God made foolish the wisdom of the world. (1 Cor 1:20). For God, through the sacrifice of His Son, destroyed death and opened to gates to eternal life that humanity, through the pride of original sin, had once closed on itself. The Cross transforms our wisdom: humility is exalted, wounds have healing power, and death is merely a birth into eternal life!

     This IS the message of the Cross, and, quite literally, the crux of our existence. For beyond all the important theology and philosophy involved in following Christ, we must always remember that those questions will not appear on the final exam at the end of time. Rather, we will be brought before God and asked questions that I imagine will be similar to those Venerable Archbishop Fulton Sheen once posed: Show me your hands. Do they have scars from giving? Show me your feet. Are they wounded in service? Show me your heart. Have you left a place for divine love? In other words, did we give of ourselves like Jesus gave of Himself? Did we treat the least of our brothers and sisters how we would like to be treat by God? And in living our lives, did we open our heart to Jesus, who was willing to have His heart pierced for our eternal benefit? If the Lord is not satisfied with your current responses to those questions, then I'd encourage you to spend a few moments reflecting on the Cross; the two beams of wood: one extending horizontally to embrace us despite all the sins we bring and the other extending vertically to bring us back to our eternal home.

I Thirst

     I thought it would be nice to share my favorite spiritual exercise. What follows is a meditation based on the spiritual teachings of Mother Teresa of Calcutta and compiled by her Missionaries of Charity. It is written from the standpoint of Jesus. I find it comforting. I hope you do too:

It is true. I stand at the door of your heart, day and night. Even when you are not listening, even when you doubt it could be Me, I am there. I await even the smallest sign of your response, even the least whispered invitation that will allow Me to enter. And I want you to know that whenever you invite Me, I do come always without fail. Silent and unseen I come, but with infinite power and love, and bringing the many gifts of My spirit. I come with My mercy, with My desire to forgive and heal you and with a love for you beyond your comprehension- a love every bit as great as the love I have received from the Father ( As much as the Father has loved me, I have loved you…”[John.15:9]). I come – longing to console you and give you strength, to lift you up and bind all your wounds. I bring you My light, to dispel your darkness and all your doubts. I come with My power, that I might carry you and all of your burdens; with My grace, to touch your heart and transform your life; and My peace I give to still your soul. I know you through and through – I know everything about you. The very hairs of your head I have numbered. Nothing in your life is unimportant to Me. I have followed you through the years, and I have always loved you – even in your wanderings. I know everyone of your problems. I know your needs and your worries. And yes, I know all your sins. But I tell you again that I love you- not for what you have or haven’t done – I love you for you, for the beauty and dignity My Father gave you by creating you in His own image. It is a dignity you have often forgotten, a beauty you have tarnished by sin. But I love you as you are, and I have shed My Blood to win you back. If you only ask Me with faith, My grace will touch all the needs changing in your life; and I will give you the strength to free yourself from sin and all its destructive power. I know what is in your heart- I know your loneliness and all your hurts- the rejections, the judgments, the humiliations. I carried it all before you. And I carried it all for you, so you might share My strength and victory. I know especially your need for love – how you are thirsted in vain, by seeking that love selfishly, striving to fill the emptiness inside you with passing pleasures- with the even greater emptiness of sin. Do you thirst for love? “Come to Me all of you who thirst…”(John 7:37). I will satisfy you and fill you. Do you thirst to be cherished? I cherish you more than you can imagine – to the point of dying on a cross for you. I thirst for you. Yes, that is the only way to even begin to describe My love for you: I THIRST FOR YOU. I thirst to love you and to be loved by you – that is how precious you are to Me. I THIRST FOR YOU. Come to Me and I will fill your heart and heal your wounds. I will make you a new creation and give you peace, even in all your trials. I THIRST FOR YOU. You must never doubt My mercy, My acceptance of you, My desire to forgive, My longing to bless you and live My life in you. I THIRST FOR YOU. If you feel unimportant in the eyes of the world, that matters not at all. For Me, there is no one any more important in the entire world than you. I THIRST FOR YOU. Open to Me, come to Me, thirst for Me, give Me your life- and I will prove to you how important you are to My Heart. Don’t you realize that My Father already has a perfect plan to transform your life, beginning from this moment? Trust in Me. Ask Me every day to enter and take charge of your life- and I will. I promise you before My father in heaven that I will work miracles in your life. Why would you I do this? Because I THIRST FOR YOU. All I ask of you is that you entrust yourself to Me completely. I will do all the rest. Even now I behold the place My Father has prepared for you in My kingdom. Remember that you are a pilgrim in this life, on a journey home. Sin can never satisfy you or bring the peace you seek. All that you have sought outside of Me has only left you more empty, so do not cling to the things of his life. Above all, do not run from Me when you fall. Come to Me without delay. When you give Me your sins, you give Me the joy of being your Saviour. There is nothing I cannot forgive and heal, so come now and unburden your soul. No matter how far you may wander, no matter how often you forget Me, no matter how many crosses you may bear in this life, there is one thing I want you to always remember, one thing that will never change: I THIRST FOR YOU – just as you are. You don’t need to change to believe in My love, for it will be your belief in My love that will change you. You forget Me, and yet I am seeking you every moment of the day- standing at bthe door of your heart and knocking. Do you find this hard to believe? Then look at the cross, look at My Heart that was pierced for you. Have you not understood My cross? Then listen again to the words I spoke there – for they tell you clearly why I endured all this for you:”I THIRST….”(John 19:28). Yes, I thirst for you – as the rest of the psalm-verses I was praying says of Me: “I looked for love, and I found none…”(Ps 69:21). All your life I have been looking for your love- I have never stopped seeking to love you and be loved by you. You have tried many other things in your search for happiness; why not try opening your heart to Me, right now, more than you ever have before. Whenever you do open the door of your heart, whenever you come close enough, you will hear Me say to you again and again, not in mere human words but in spirit: “No matter what you have done, I love you for your own sake. Come to Me with your misery and your sins, with your troubles and needs, and with all your longing to be loved. I stand at the door of you heart and knock…Open to ME, for I THIRST FOR YOU…”

Let's Forget 9/11

Remember 9/11.

     Every time the eleventh day of the ninth month comes around, I see this command patriotically posted across the social media universe. If I were in the United States today, I could have turned on any cable news station this morning and watched the moment the planes hit the towers; the moment our nation's innocence was stolen. I can trace the trajectory of those planes-turned-missiles and watch the last moments that our country was not embroiled in a Middle Eastern conflict. Those planes carried more than human beings and jet fuel on them-- they carried new terms like "War on Terror" and "Patriot Act" into our collective lexicon. When they struck, they incinerated our naïvety and some of our respect for the rich diversity the world offers.

      And so I propose: let us not "remember 9/11"--at least not as we currently choose to ritualize it. 

     The events of that particular eleventh day of the ninth month of that particular year became a stage for great acts of valor by individuals. To merely commemorate the day and not the people is a disservice to all those who stood up to the evil that sought to change us. This much has been made clear in 11 years: the events of 11 September 2001 were meant to change a civilization, not a city. they was meant to disrupt our thoughts, not our airport security lines.

     By their very definition, acts of terror are psychological attacks that manifest themselves for a moment in a great burst of physical violence. The attacks of that day continue on in these days; each time we look with suspicion upon a Muslim; each time we think more about where we were that fateful morning instead of reflecting on those who rushed there, trying to show strength in a time of confusion and weakness.

    "Remember 9/11" is a product of our culture's infatuation with the brief and broad. But the events of the eleventh day of the ninth month of 2001 call for anything but brevity and vagueness. In 2012 we are called not back to ground zero but to return to square one. We are in need not of slogans, but of actions. In the wake of the attacks, Americans were told to go about their business, to return to normalcy in an act of defiance towards those who wished to permanently change us. I think we still need to heed that advice.

     Our remembrance must not be found in our ritualistic obsession with a date. I would wager that a good percentage of Americans might have to think about what day Pearl Harbor occurred. But few would question that the events of that day led us to vigorously defend and promote democracy. Thus, our remembrance must lie in how we treat our fellow human, in how we live our lives on the other 364 days of each year. If we, as a country, can not find a more fitting tribute to those who perished in defense of our freedom, than we are unworthy of their sacrifice.

On Joy

     Earlier today, I was paid the strangest compliment I can ever remember receiving. My friend said, "I could put you in boiling acid and you would still be happy." While I sincerely hope that he never goes through with his generous offer, I was humbled by it because I work hard trying to be joyful regardless of what the circumstances are at any given moment. By no means am I anywhere near perfect- I have bad days too- but to hear a valued friend take notice was a blessing.

     It saddens me when I encounter others who seem to be in a perpetually sour mood. I am in no place to judge their disposition, for I am sure that they must feel as though the entire world is against them and the only way to go on is to wage war against anyone and anything in sight. The Lord did not call us to be judgmental of others, but rather to perfect in our own lives those faults we find in our neighbors. As Plato said be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

     Nevertheless, I feel as though carrying around a negative attitude is a disservice to others and a disservice to God. It is a disservice to others because it places the burden of our inner desolation on others. We all know how difficult it can be to associate with someone who is angry and bitter. Now think how much more difficult that experience is for God, who has given us life itself and everything we possess in it, to watch us be ungrateful and nasty. Even if we lack all else, we are never in lack of God's love and the gift of life itself. How then can we lack joy? We ought only need to consider how many face greater afflictions and even meet the end of their lives without giving God His just glory and praise. How truly fortunate we are that we still have time to better our lives and the lives of others before we must give an account of ourselves before the Divine Judge!

     I've been reflecting a lot lately on Psalm 116. In it, David asks, what shall I render to the Lord for all His bounty to me? (Ps 116:12) Have you ever thought about how embarrassingly rich our lives are compared to so many in the world? All we have been given, in talent and treasure, is ours on loan; we relinquish possession of all at our death. But God does not wish us to sit on His gifts, or to scorn them because they are not as plentiful as someone else's. He asks us to use them to do His will on Earth, ministering to His sons and daughters and spreading the Good News of salvation through Jesus. And, sometimes, the best ministry one can perform in Jesus' name is simply a smile or a positive attitude that gives other the permission to do likewise, despite the world's drudgery.

Lazy Sunday

     If there was one thing I did well today, it was to refrain from doing any work on the Sabbath. I invited a friend over to my house and watched NFL football on my computer. My beloved Buffalo Bills looked predictably dreadful and unprepared, which I suppose is understandable because they only had an entire offseason to game-plan. Heck, they probably would've won if it weren't for those replacement officials!

      At some point in the afternoon, my friend told me about an online quiz where you can answer a few policy questions and then see how your views align with those of this year's presidential candidates in the United States presidential election. I've always thought of myself as more of a moderate than anything, and my results confirmed it. Whereas my friend had 2 candidates who shared his views on more than 90% of issues, the top candidate for me was 83%. Conversely, I found agreement with the majority of the candidates, including President Obama and Governor Romney, on more than half the issues.

     In today's divided political culture, being a moderate can be a lonely place. Moreover, it can be confusing and difficult to decide which candidate to support. Ultimately, the most important issue for me is the right to and respect for human life in all its forms. I do not think a society which is unwilling to defend life, especially for those who cannot defend themselves, will ultimately be able to do a good job upholding other human rights. The right to life is the foundational right from which all other rights are built.

     Unfortunately neither of the two major party candidates are completely pro-life. While Gov. Romney is against abortion in most (although not all) cases, he is a proponent of the death penalty. Pres. Obama has made it clear that he is for expanding people's options when it comes ending human life. In the end, nobody but (hopefully) the candidate himself is going to agree 100% on the issues with a particular candidate. All we can do is make a determination on what we each feel is the most important issue(s). If we can do that with a clear conscience, then I think we have done our civic duty with honor.

Weekend in Tortuguero

     This weekend, my study abroad program took a group trip to Tortuguero National Park. Actually, they said we were near the park but not actually in it, so your guess is as good as mine where the heck I was for the past two days. I suppose "somewhere in Costa Rica" will have to suffice until I get the chance to ask someone with a better memory.

     What I do know is that there were monkeys howling, herons of various colours flying around and roosters cock-a-doodle-doodling at 2 am in the morning. Me and three of the other guys on the trip "slept" in a giant tent, when the aforementioned rooster permitted sleep to occur. Beyond the sleep experience, the trip was the most mentally exhausting but fascinating experience I can recall having in a long time.

     As we ate dinner, each member of the table took a turn sharing their own "life story." These little vignettes were meant to start at birth and run all the way up until the individual came to Costa Rica. A number of things surprised me about the results of this little activity, and I shall list them for ease of reading:

• I'll begin with my own to get it out of the way, even though I did not go first in the actual telling of our lives. I've given many recaps of my life over the past few years and can do so with relative ease. But last night, I started tripping up and could feel my voice begin to break when I got into the part about my father's death when I was 11. I think the reason was the noise in the room. When I usually talk about his death all the attention is on me and the room is pretty quiet, allowing me to kind of glide over it as if I am telling another person's story rather than my own. But, because there was a lot of noise and people moving around at dinner, I kept having to focus and actually tell the story from a far more personal place...and that was hard.
• I couldn't help but notice the amazing intersections that people lives take- or don't take. Whether it be a place where two people thought about studying abroad before deciding on Costa Rica or a school they both applied to but ultimately one or the other (or both) choose not to attend there, the world (God) certainly has a way of bringing people together.
• I was absolutely floored by some of the amazing experiences and service that my friends in this program have taken a part in previously, both in the U.S. and abroad. I have met a lot of people who choose to let their talents waste away, so it has been nice to come here and have my faith in the general goodness of humanity made visible. 
• Even more than what my friends said, I learned a lot from how they told their stories. One common theme through most of them was humility. It was clear that some people didn't really enjoy talking about themselves and tried to lessen their achievements as they told them. Humility, I believe, is one of the most important character traits, so I was glad to see so many people in possession of it!

     Afterwards, a group of four or five of us stayed up and talked about each other's stories and other random topics. People were very open and personal in their responses, and I think that's a product of a pretty close bond some of us already share. Even though three weeks ago we had never met each other,  I feel more comfortable sharing information with some of my friends here than I would with other friends I've known for years. I have had at least a half dozen meaningful conversations of 10 minutes or more, something I rarely have even with my best friends back home. The interaction with these amazing people has been the highlight of the program. I hope the best is yet to come!

¡¡¡Week Tres Recap!!!

     So here we are at the end of my third week in Costa Rica (I do not have classes on Friday so I consider Thursday the end). Let us recap, shall we?

• This week went by awfully easily in many ways. I only had 3 1/2 classes due to one professor being out of town (and country, and continent) and the little earthquake that "shook up" my schedule on Wednesday. Of the classes I did have, Monday's Politics and Democracy was my favorite. It's very interactive and engaging. Also of note is my Spanish class. The professora is lively and fun. Her makes learning funner, as they say in places where grammar is not taught very well.
• In other ways, this week was a drag. Due to the disruption in the schedule, there was a lot of downtime. That meant a lot of watching YouTube video, a lot of writing blog posts, a lot of reading, a lot of prayer. None of these activities are bad; in truth, it was nice to have ample time for once! Perhaps the reason this week felt sluggish lies more in the fact that...
• I CANNOT SLEEP!!! Well, let me clarify and expand. I have been going to be at a reasonable 10:30 or 11:00. I sleep through the early morning hours without issue. The problems start when I wake up at 5:00 and cannot get back to sleep! At first, I thought it might be because my bed is near a window with the blinds open, causing me to awake with the rising of the sun. So I closed the blinds one night and, lo and behold, I woke up at 4:00 in the morning! What is one supposed to do at 4:00!? I sure have no clue, because I basically spend 45 minutes staring at the ceiling before giving up hope of falling back asleep. One thing I have found is that getting up at that hour makes for a LONG day, especially when that day includes an earthquake and a walk home in the rain. Progress is being made, however: today I woke up at 6:30...
• I am ever more grateful, as I read the news from the party conventions, that I am not going to be subjected to this year's election in the United States. It saddens me, but I am so disgusted with our politics in this country and the dearth of quality candidates. The American people and the Office of the Presidency deserves much better. That's not to say I do not have desires. Above all else, I would like a Pro-life candidate who will not cut student loans and Pell grants over military spending. Alas, as they say in Costa Rica, evidentemente eso no es possible.
• One of my big things is respect for all people. There are few things more cruel and unnecessary, in my opinion, than demeaning an entire group of people in order to crack a joke or humiliate someone else. But I cannot say that I have a perfect record, and today was one where I spoke without thinking. I used the phrase retarded and immediately regretted it. I used it to describe something dumb I had just said, but that doesn't make it any more acceptable to use. I felt especially bad because someone who has a brother with muscular dystrophy overheard me. I think how embarrassed and pathetic I would feel if I had to say that to his parents or the parents of any of the special needs kids I teach during the summer. It was certainly a reminder of how words can hurt others, and that there are sufficient faults in ourselves to correct before we go chastising others. Hurrah for life lessons!

     Tomorrow, the group is off to a nature park-like place with sea turtles and monkeys!!! I hope to return with some more photos to add to the highly acclaimed Facebook album "Joe gets unreasonably close to wild animals while in Costa Rica." I'll let you know how that turns out, unless I get my hands chewed off, in which case it might be awhile until you hear (read?) from me again...

Earthquake Edition

     This morning we had an earthquake in Costa Rica. The epicenter was away from where I was having class, yet the quake was strong enough to sway the building for a good half minute. We evacuated once it ended and that class and the other one this afternoon were cancelled. So, just to recap, I missed out on having Labor Day off but I'm still going to only have 3 1/2 classes this week. I'll take it!

     Even though I never felt as though I was in danger today, I would be lying if I said the thought of mortality did not cross my mind. How true it is that we do not know the day or hour that our Lord will come and make us give an account for our lives. While we do not know the time, we do at least know that Jesus Christ claimed to be God, and that belief in His name could bring us eternal salvation. So why then do so many fail to believe in Him when it would seem reasonable to do so, if for no other reason then to hedge our bets; after all, we would seemingly have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

     I have a friend that said to me the other day that the problem he has with believing in Christ is that, while he agrees Jesus was a great moral teacher, he feels the same way about other religious leaders, such as Buddah. As such, he cannot reconcile placing trust in one teacher over another. I can understand his sentiment. On the surface, both preached non-violence and a respect for the dignity of all. Yet to place Jesus as an equal to Buddha is to ignore the fact that Jesus was willing to pour out His blood and take up His Cross- not just as an example of His teaching, but as a loving sacrifice for all humanity.

     Jesus had numerous routes down which He could have steered His public ministry. He could have been purely a provider of physical wants, creating food for the hungry in return for their admiration. He could have been solely a miracle worker, winning crowds with a series of spectacular acts that excited and amazed. He could have been a political leader, rousing the Jews to rise up from under the oppression of the Romans. In fact, all three of these alternative paths were offered to Jesus by the devil during His temptation in the the desert. (Mt 4:1-11) He was asked by Satan to make rocks into bread, to jump from the top of the temple and land unscathed, and to accept kingship of all the world. Yet Jesus refused each of these, knowing that only the Cross had the power to save mankind.

     The problem with all of Satan's tests were that they would only render temporal results. The bread would be eaten, and the next day the people would be hungry yet again. The crowds would be entertained by miracles, yet their appetite for more and larger ones would only increase. Jesus could have ruled an earthly kingdom, but, like the Romans' kingdom, it would not have escaped death's grasp. Prior to Jesus, humanity had many human prophets of God who preached to the people. They were heard but not listened to, treated as curiosities rather than carriers of God's will.
   
     Jesus was able to not only bring God the Father's Word, but also its visible manifestation here on Earth. He came with the word of God which is infinite love, yet He also displayed that love on the Cross: His outstretched arms embracing saint and sinner, servant and sentencer. He came with the word of God which is nourishment, yet he also provided that nourishment in His own pierced flesh and outpoured blood for the life of the world. (John 6 is a must read!). Satan tempted Jesus because he knew, and he knows, that the Cross is the only way to salvation. Satan's temptations did not deny that He was God, but instead tried to appeal to the pride of His human nature. Jesus passed the test, as Saint Paul wrote:

Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Phil 2:6-11)

     It is in the Cross that Jesus destroyed death forever. The Lord said, For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. For God sent the Son into the world, not to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. (Jn 3:16-17)

     Imagine, eternal life is ours for the taking! The devil today is desperate to prevent us from claiming our eternal reward and, to do so, He tests us in the same way He tested Jesus: through our human pride:

     He tells us we don't need God, that we are capable of controlling own bodies and satisfying our own desires. If that is so, then why do so many fall prey to an addiction? Why do so many live lives of desolation? Why is the vast majority insatiable in their appetites for those things that bring destruction to the mind, body and soul?

     He tells us we don't need God's Church by pointing out the faults in it and the people who run it. The Church, while run imperfectly by imperfect humans, is nevertheless the Bride of Christ: to whom else shall we go to receive the eternal nourishment found only in the Holy Eucharist?

    And when we sin, Satan laughs at us, telling us we are far too pathetic for God's forgiveness; that mercy is beyond our reach and we might as well go on sinning. This lie is perhaps the most sinister of all, because it tries to cover up the meaning of the Cross. Jesus paid the debt of all our sins, and thus God shows complete mercy to all those who come and ask for forgiveness. It matters not whether we have sinned one time or one million times, all our within the range of redemption.

     Therein lies the difference Christ provides in our lives. The Buddha offered ideas; Jesus offers ideas and Himself. The Buddha offered a way to live; Jesus offers a way to live and life itself.  If another earthquake hit tomorrow, in whom would you like to put your trust: yourself, Buddha, or Jesus?

Answering the How and Why

     This morning, my class was canceled because our professor is currently in Europe presenting the Costa Rican side of a border dispute with Nicaragua in front of an international court at The Hague. I would have used the extra time to sleep in, but apparently my body has decided to wake itself at 6:00 AM every day. In any event, the free morning did afford me the chance to grab some coffee at a wonderful little cafe near my house with one of my compañeros from the program who also had no class.
     
     Yesterday, he, who is also a Christian, wrote a beautiful post about his decision to bring his Bible to Costa Rica and how reading it each nice has brought him great comfort and consolation while being in a foreign environment. Eventually, the conversation shifted to religion and my friend said something that struck me. He said that while he doesn't broadcast his religion or try to beat people over the head with it, his faith is nonetheless a vital part of his very being.

     The comment reminded me of one of my favorite scripture passages. Saint Peter writes Always be prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence. (1 Pt 3:15) As Christians, baptized in the faith, we have a responsibility to defend the faith and provide an explanation for why we believe in Jesus as Christ and Redeemer of the world.

     To a society that is so enamored with worldly things, the life of Jesus is not appealing. As Saint Paul wrote, the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. (1 Cor 1:18) Thus, the question that every Christian must answer how can we win souls for Christ; how can we turn a person's mind from seeing the Crucifixion as one man's humiliation to humanity's victory over sin and death, and do such evangelizing in a way that is dignified and meets people at a place where they are in terms of their spiritual life?

      By no means are these questions simple to answer, and I struggle with them as much as anything else in life. In my opinion, the main way we draw others to Christ is through the way in which we live. As I've written about in other posts, to be an attractive Christian one must have an abundance of hope that does not waver greatly, especially in times of trial. All humans are searching for their purpose and their calling, whether they realize it or not. No human is every satisfied by this world, because it is full of sin and despair and is not our true home. Many go their whole lives in search of something or someone to satisfy the longing they feel in their heart. By having hope and confidence in God amidst the world's drudgery, we can become that beacon of light that guides a non-believer to the Lord's safe harbor.
   
     We also draw attention to Christ working in us when we wage war against our vices. Being moderate in things such as drinking, gambling and gossip will bring us notice. Being quick in our forgiveness and slow in our tempers will bring us respect. Our job then is to turn that attention away from ourselves and towards God, who gives us His grace to resist the fleeting pleasures of this world that bring only emptiness and decay. Many fail to reform themselves because they believe the task is impossible for them and fear failure. They are correct in that it is impossible for us alone to conquer the evil that pervades our lives. But with Jesus, the sinless suffering servant who gave his life as a ransom for us all out of an infinite love, all things are possible if we but admit our weakness and profess our desperate need for Him.

     If we have begun to answer how we can bring others and to the Lord and the Lord to others, how then do we answer the why? Why do we believe? Like my friend said, I do not go around explaining my beliefs to people who do not ask. But like Saint Peter said, I am obliged to respond when I am asked to give a reason. Since I've started this blog, I've gotten asked at least a dozen times why I believe in God when I have never felt, heard or seen Him. I respond that I believe because I have felt Jesus' presence and heard his voice in a moment I describe in this blog's very first post. I've seen His work in ordinary people who do extraordinary good. I then add that even if I never had a personal, intense encounter with the Lord, I would still believe for another reason. And that reason is His apostles: the 12 men whom He called by name and who lived with Him during his ministry on Earth. After Jesus' death and resurrection, these men suffered persecution for preaching the Good News. At any point, any of them could have admitted that they had hidden Jesus' body or that their stories about His appearances after he rose were contrived stories. None did. The fact of the matter is that 11 out of the 12 gave their lives instead of renouncing their belief that Jesus is God (the other died of natural causes). A man simply does not die for something he knows is a lie. All these men were not relying on faith or the testimony of others, they had been in the Lord's company and were firsthand witnesses. Two thousand years later, the work of Christ is still alive but still unfinished. It is our job to continue it, through living lives of holiness, through brining others to Christ, and through continually (or initially) saying "yes!" to God's invitation to salvation.